Sunday, August 21, 2016

Life changes

So, it's been two months since I resigned from my job and the ELB and I left for St. Louis.

So what have I been up to?

Well, I have had a ton of phone screens and interviews. I've been unpacking. I've been cleaning (since the cleaners the previous tenants hired and paid for didn't clean anything). I have been grocery shopping like a normal person. I have been doing my best to stay on a regular sleep schedule. I've done more unpacking. And then I do more unpacking. I watch to much day time tv.

Things I have not been doing:

Shopping and spending alot of unnecessary money. Exercising regularly. Dieting (although I have been making myself more aware of what I am eating since Donny seems to have woken up since we moved). Going out to eat, although we do have take out a few times a week.

However, if things go the way that I hope they will, all of that will soon be changing.

Tomorrow, I hope to hear back from a job that I've had two positive interviews for. I just ordered an exercise DVD to try (Beachbody Country Heat). The ELB set up the TV/blue ray in the basement today for me. I have my kickboxing target.

I have plans to make changes. I have goals to get back to where I was health and weightwise two years ago. I need to kick this funk out of my life and be happy. I'm in a new city (again) with just the ELB, so I need to get out and make friends because I'm a social person. That's why I'm ready to go back to work, not just because I want money, but because I miss talking to people.

So far, this has been a very positive experience. I love how friendly everyone is.

Before we left Baltimore, I had a very very negative experience/confrontation with a woman at Walmart.  I have internalized it because it was so hurtful and hateful that to think about it now still makes me upset. Even now, two months later, it still hurts me. If you know me at all, I would hope that you know that I tend to get along with everyone. I do not care what race, religion, sexual orientation you choose.... I see people, and potential friends.

On this night, my last day at my job, I met up with two friends for dinner and drinks to celebrate my move and new beginnings. On the way home, I stopped at walmart to pick up a hand saw to break down some things for the garbage. It was late, almost midnight, and I went to the Rosedale location since it was on my way home. I found my item, and got in line. Of course, there were only like two lines open, and there were two people in front of me... And at least two people behind me almost immediately. And then the woman in front of me lets her mother cut the line with an overflowing cart. And I said. "You have GOT to be kidding me," because come on, it's late, I'm tired, and I just want to go home. And the woman exploded at me. She called me fat, she called me a slob, she told me that I should take the saw that I'm buying and cut off my fat stomach, and she went on and on and on. She then invited everyone behind me in line to go in front of her because she wanted to make me wait. 

I think the hard part for me was the fact that not a single person stood up for me or told her to back off. None came to my defense, I was left to fend for myself. I don't want to say that it was racially motivated, but it was. So what could I do? I couldn't DO anything. Anything I did would would have made things worse. So I had to stand there and listen to her and take this abuse from a complete stranger, knowing that I would never ever treat anyone the way that I was being treated, with other people watching and not saying anything.

I think that people think that bullies are only in school, but they aren't. They are everywhere. And I'm just sorry that this happened, because I can't imagine what was so wrong in this person's life that they felt that attacking a stranger in public was justified.

But this is my moving on. Lady, I forgive you for making me cry and for ruining a pretty good night for me. Because keeping this bottled up isn't helping me. I just hope that you can find peace with yourself for the hatred that you carry. I'm not letting you live in my head any more.

Sorry, I just needed to get that out. Note I can move on.

1 comment:

  1. Don't ever let people make you feel less than what you are. You are a wonderful person and that lady just sucks. The sad fact is that there are people in this world that only feel better when they have shown themselves that there is someone worse off them in...but this is only in their mind...They don't know your story or how far you have come and how far you have to go...Next time, call me or text me...I will come beat her down for you and show you that there are people in this world that love you just the way you are!!!

    -Banded Pumpkin