Friday, February 27, 2015

Slacker is my middle name

Work has been CRAZY this past week. Like, non-stop from 7:30-5 with no breaks. I even get so busy I forget to drink water or pee. Yeah, my job is awesome.

My boss was talking the express train to Crazy-town this week... One way, no stops...All Aboard!

The only thing that I've been good with is exercise. I've done zumba 4x this week... Although yesterday was a struggle. I really just wanted to go home and go to bed... But I didn't.

Funny story-- I walked into class last night, and immediately did a double take b/c the Tuesday instructor was setting up. In my head I'm screaming "FUUUUUUUUUUUCK... It's only Tuesday?!?!?".

So I calmly say to the instructor, " hey, ______. Please tell me it's not Tuesday ". And she was like, " No, it's Thursday. ______ is out sick." And I'm like, "thank GOD, because if it was only Tuesday, I was going to cry".

So I got my sweat on last night. Then made shirataki Fettuccini Alfredo for dinner.

I'm slacking on reading because I've been so busy, but I plan to finish " a Heartbreaking Work..." this weekend. On my queue after that is 1. Outlander 2. Not That Kind Of Girl.
I love free e-books from the public library.

I'm going out to lunch with one of my girls tomorrow. Our plans were cancelled last weekend due to inclement weather, so we plan to get out drink on, and eat our weight in chips and salsa.

Happy Friday all!

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Grief comes calling...again

I started reading a book today, "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius". I've heard that this was a good book for a while, but haven't gotten around to reading it, until now.

And I think that I've made a huge mistake.

I know that this book will make me cry... Because I started tearing up three Kindle sized pages in.

So far, all I know is that this is a book about cancer. About a mom with cancer. And three pages in, it's a recounting of how it was for my mom at the end of her life. The constant spitting of noxious green bile from where the cancer had spread to her stomach, so vile that I gagged every time I had to empty the bin. The inability to move from her chair where she sat 24 hours a day. And now I'm consumed with memories. Thoughts that make me cry.

But now I have to finish it. I have to know what happens. And even though I'm highly emotional and hormonal with aunt flow slated to be here this week... Like some twisted sadistic addiction, I will continue to read this book until the end.

I have questions now. Questions about how other people deal with grief. How to deal with the pain, even though the pain isn't new. It will be three years next month since my mom passed.... But it's always hiding right there below the surface of my psyche. Grief is just waiting for a reason to rear its head and steal my breath and leave me empty.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015


We all have that one thing we lust over. A person. A new pair of shoes. That perfect bag. A food.

I have a mistress... And her name is butter. Sweet cream salted butter. And I'm addicted.

Is it's edible, I want to put butter on it. Its reckless, and crazy, and forbidden. Butter is terrible for you (but tastes so good).

Then I heard about something that was on DR. OZ (I didn't watch the show b/c I work), but apparently it's OK to put BUTTER in your coffee. Come again?!?!?

First of all.... EWWWW. Why would you do that? Second, maybe butter isn't so bad for you after all?

I'm confused. So I'll eat butter... in moderation, of course. And go on with life, right?

Sunday, February 1, 2015

The struggle is real

I'm suffering from "white girl problems".

I have a job that I love... But a nut-ball crazy boss that makes its difficult for me to love my job.

I'm tired of city life, and I really want to move out of the city and buy a house, but I can't afford to buy in any decent areas... Ironically, I make " too much" to qualify for any of the first-time home buyers assistance programs.

I want to move to South Carolina, which is why I've put the home buying on hold... But trying to job search from another state is difficult.

I have a LapBand to help me lose weight... But I love to eat the kinds of food that I shouldn't.

I go to a gym that I love... But tendonitis that continues to persist in my elbow limits my workouts to zumba only, which means I'm missing out on weight training and yoga.

I just stepped off a curb weird and tweaked my ankle... And now I'm afraid it will keep me from the gym.

See, its just a big old pity party for Luka Beth up in here today.

I just need to focus on my job and making good food choices and exercise... The things I CAN control.

And the rest I need to have faith and give to God to work on for me. I'm a big believer of "if it's meant to be, it will be". I just have to have faith that whatever happens is what is destined for me at this time in my life at this time... But I'm really keeping my fingers crossed for South Carolina!

So if anyone knows anyone in Columbia/Charleston/Conway, SC looking for a kick-ass HR professional with a BS, MBA, and PHR cert with over 12 years experience in both health care and manufacturing, let me know. ;-).

What? There's nothing wrong with helping God out just a little, right?