Saturday, December 27, 2014

Live from the beach!

This year the trip head been awesome... And it's only the first full day of our trip!

Yesterday, the ELB and I detoured sightly off the route to meet Hollee Alexandria! I would do a link here but I'm stupid and my phone hates me). It was so great to meet with someone who had been such an inspiration in my journey... And who has turned into a friend along the way!

Based on her suggestion, we visited a store called Southern Season... And OMG... It was AMAZING. We could have spent all day there, but as it was we spent about 2 hours there. And spent more money than we planned. But it was awesome. And we will be back.

We rolled into Myrtle Beach at sunset (see picture). We got to the condo, unloaded the car, then went out to get groceries. I picked up some things to make a pot of high protein chili (to assist with my detox process). After dinner we chilled out, and went to bed by 11!

I woke up at 7am, and snapped a picture of the sunrise (see picture) before stumbling back to bed and more sleep.

After a lazy afternoon, the ELB and I went on a three mile beach walk.

Now we are back, I just made the ELB some brinner (waffles and bacon) and now we are going to indulge in another guilty pleasure ...CABLE television.

Tomorrow, we don't have locked in plans, but we do have things that we want to do while here including day trips to Charleston and Columbia, a trip to the outlets, and alot more walks on the beach!

Have a happy weekend!

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Happy holidays

I've been bad. So so bad. Since my unfill, I've gained 17 lbs so I'm back at 345. I'm really disappointed in myself, but I know what I need to do.

We leave for the beach Friday. And I'm planning a sugar detox. Lots of water. Lots of walking. Lots of sleep.

I will not buy junk.  I plan to eat healthy.

I also have tendonitis in my right arm. Not fun. I'm going to use this time to hopefully rehab that back to normal.

Happy holidays to you all. I hope to start 2015 on a healthy(ier). foot.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Getting there

I've been slowly losing the 15 lbs that I packed on after my unfill. I'm about halfway there to my lowest adult weight. It helps that Donny has restriction when it's cold.

I was scheduled for a fill on 12/12 but I called and cancelled today. I have restriction. I'm exercising. I'm losing the "i forgot what it felt like to eat without pb'ing" pounds. Why mess with a good thing?

I did reschedule for January just so that I can be on the calendar, but I'll see where I am with weightloss after vacation and decide from there.

My unfill was denied by insurance. I told my surgeons office what they needed to do to make sure it was paid and they told me that I was wrong and that there wouldn't be an issue. If they try to bill me for the visit, I'll fight it. I emailed them and talked to them on the phone prior to coming in and explained what the insurance company wanted and they chose to ignore me. They will have to write it off.

Yeah I'm in that kind of mood. But I did yoga tonight and then hit Sam's club for healthy lunch food. Yay me. Dinner is water and deli ham. Woot.

Until next time!

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

It's a sign...

I was all set for my fill today, despite the fact that the deep freeze that is gripping the east coast brought me restriction yesterday.

I was on the fence, since I finally had restriction, but it was too late to cancel my appointment without having to pay the no-show charge, so I decided I would go.

Then my surgeons office called to get me to reschedule because my surgeon had to do an emergency surgery.

I took that as a sign that I shouldn't get a fill right now... So I rescheduled for Friday, December 5. I just remembered that I have a conflict that day, also.

I'll get a fill eventually. Right now I'm going to work on doing this the old fashioned way, with hard work and exercise. And when I get a fill, great. Until then, I can at least TRY my hardest.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Bad blogger, bad bander

I'm bad. I'm not updating. I'm not following band rules.

I've gained about 15 lbs since my unfill, so I am getting a fill next week.

Work has been good. Life is good. I won a kindle fire HD today at a conference. I'm going to see my best friend for that thanksgiving in two weeks.

I've been eatting l carbs like there is no tomorrow. Bagels, rice, bread, pastries, chocolate. You name it, and ive been eatting it. Im done. Tomorrow I'm going to do my best to detox and get back on high protein and low carb. I'll be a bear, but it needs to be done.

Pray that I can get back on track.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Welcome back!

Over the past few days, restriction seems to be creeping back into my life.

I'm not complaining. I wanted it to happen. It's just odd that I went from wideopen to slowly increasing restriction. Food that I was able to eat with wild abandon isn't as appealing now. I'm not a bottomless pit (as much). I actually feel satisfied.

I'm not saying that I don't struggle during the day. I do. Mainly, I think it's withdrawal from the massive sugar that I was eating so I get the mid afternoon snackies. But I can drink SO MUCH WATER now. It's like I'm a desert that hasn't seen the rain in years.

I don't go back to the surgeon until 11/19, so I'll see where I'm at with weightloss and restriction when that day gets here.

Happy hump day!

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Eat eat eat

You know how the cookie monster dumps cookies in his mouth? Yeah, that's been me.

Except I'm not eating cookies. It's been chocolate. Hershey's Special Dark chocolate, to be specific. And gingerbread bagels with peanut butter. And halloween candy. It's also been aunt flow visiting, which hasn't helped.

I forgot to weigh on Friday morning, so I weighed Friday before I left work and I was up 2lbs from the date of unfill.

I start my work weight-loss challenge on Monday. That should help keep me on track, since we are doing it through the holidays. There are only four of us doing it... We didn't invite anyone else... But still, having to weigh in front of other people should motivate me. Along with the fact that I want to fit into this new pair of jeans in time for my office holiday party on December 5.

On November 10, my gym starts a workout challenge. I signed up for that also. $15 to compete, and you get a T-shirt, and entered to win $200 just for working out 3x a week until December 21. I already plan to go 3x a week, so why not try to win some money? That would be awesome, BC I need to get tires on my car soon.  And maybe brakes. Either way, I could use the cash.

Toodles!

Monday, October 27, 2014

Life goes on

About 10x a day since my unfill, I find myself arguing (with me) about what I should and should not eat, as opposed to what I can and cannot eat.

Getting fluid taken out is both liberating and SCARY. In the back of my mind is the constant chatter of "I can eat this, and this, and this", while the other half of my brain is going, " just because you can, doesn't mean you SHOULD".

So I try to make concessions to eat some of the things I want, while still being smart. For example, I've really wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. So I bought peanut butter, and I bought jelly. But instead of a loaf of bread, I got sandwich thins instead. I do NOT want to climb onto the carb-wagon, and then not be able to get back off.

This weekend, I feel like I ate and ate and ate, but when I look at what I actually consumed, it doesn't seem that bad. I think that the fact I'm eating and it's actually STAYING down is what I need to adjust to. It's been so long since I've been able to enjoy a meal without a PB bottle in my hand that I've forgotten how the LapBand is supposed to act.

Things that I am making my goal this week:
1. Chew, chew, chew. I really need to chew more thoroughly before swallowing. When I don't chew enough, I can feel things passing through Donny, and I know that I'm causing potential swelling issues.
2. Portion control. I'm going to work on controlling my portion sizes, so that I'm eating the right size portion for my Band.
3. Drinking with meals. The past few days, I've rediscovered eating and drinking together. I need to get that back under control, but honestly I think that I've been so dehydrated for so long that my body wants water ALL the time. But that's a goal to fix this week.

So, happy Monday WLS peeps. Here's to a new start to a new week!

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Game changer

I had no idea that I was to tight for pretty much the past year.

For the past two days, I have been able to eat without ANY PB or slime episodes. And I still have restriction. The main difference is, I stop eating when I know I should--not because I'm physically unable to continue.

I portioned my food when it arrived, and only ate what I planned. Dinner last night at Bar Louie was 2 shared spinach dips with chips (maybe 4 chips from each dish), half of the Chicago Stockyard burger (no bun), and half of the tater tots (about 8). Oh, and a half priced S'mores martini.

And it was good. And I was able to focus on the conversation with my friends instead of making repeated trips to the bathroom. I didn't have any "oh shit" moments when I took a bite, wondering whether it would go down. Or get stuck.

I'm sleeping better. Eating better. Drinking more water.

I didn't get on the scale yesterday, mainly because I had just weighed on Wednesday at the surgeons. But next Friday, I'm going to weigh, and I'm going to work hard to see that number go down. I'm 27.4 pounds from the 2's.

My new goal is to try to lose that 27.4 by January 5 when the friendly work contest ends.

I'm going to work hard to see the unfill as a game changer. A motivator. And potentially a key to unlocking my stalled progress.

Happy Saturday!

Thursday, October 23, 2014

On the other hand...

I scored THIS pair of boots for only $25 tonight! I don't care what kind of victory that would be considered, BC either way... I WON!

I have not been forsaken

After a 1cc unfill last night, I've been feeling pretty invincible in the eating department. I ate two 1/2 c servings of my protein chicken salad, and a bowl of homemade beef vegetable lentil soup I made last week. And some cookies.

OK, in retrospect, that's really not horrible. Sure, I coukd have done without the cookies, but it's alot better than what my brain was telling me to eat--things like breakfast from Hardee's or Chinese food lunch.

After Zumba, I stopped and got a newly discovered secret pleasure-the Frito burrito from Taco Bell. And it was at this point that Donny woke up and said "knock it the f#ck off, Luka".  Three bites, and it hurt.

So I went shopping and bought some super cute boots and a sweater. Then tried to resume burito eating, and three more bites and I gave up. So I stopped for Sweet Frog.

Tomorrow is the rescheduled martini bar girls night, and I'm still on antibiotics. No booze for me, but I'm excited to see what it feels like to go out for a meal and not start to slime or PB after 1 or 2 bites, and then start the panicked looking for the bathroom and praying that I don't get it all over my clothes, and trying to figure out if my friends will ever wonder what's wrong with me.

All i know is that since my unfill last night, I've felt pretty good, except for the fear that I'll regain a ton of weight.

The ELB woke me up this morning, probably around 2am to let me know that this was the first time in almost a year that I slept without coughing. I take it that was a good sign.

So to keep myself on track, two girls at work and I are doing a two month weightloss challenge with each other. We start November 3, and final weigh-in is January 5. It should be a fun way to keep each other motivated. No big investment other than bragging rights, and the two smallest losers buy the biggest loser lunch! Anyone know where I can buy an inexpensive tiny trophy?

Happy Thursday night!

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Does unfill = failure ?

So tonight, I got my first adjustment in almost a year.

My surgeon took out 1 cc, and dropped my restriction from 6.5 to 5.5. I had to negotiate to have him stop at just one. He wanted to do 1.5, but I was afraid that I would lose all progress. I weighed in at 327.4 tonight. That's just over 100 lbs from my very first appt in august 2012.

So, my goal is to work on basics. After two days of liquids, I can transition back to the way I'm supposed to be eating. Solid protein. I'm excited to be able to hopefully eat the way that I'm supposed to eat, and not dread every meal ending with pb and slime. I'm excited to be able to hopefully drink water without issues. I want this to work, and I don't want to feel like a failure.

I'm supposed to weigh every week, and follow up in 4-6 weeks. But my surgeon is optimistic that is I've been too tight that I might actually lose weight now.

Fingers crossed this helps change things for the better.

Monday, October 20, 2014

NSV

Today was a good day, until I backed into another car and jacked up my bumper. I'm not allowed to have nice things... Ever.

I was crazy busy at work today and ran around so much that I skipped the gym to go shopping. Don't think that it was a bad thing. I went to Arundel Mills, which one circuit around the mall is a mile, not counting all the additional walking in the actual stores. I think I probably got at least two miles tonight.

My goal was to find either a cute short boot to wear with jeans, or a nice winter coat. I tried on boots, but nothing said "buy me". One pair was tempting.. Black quarter calf lace up with a small heel, but the size wasnt quite right.  I will know when I find the right pair.

I tried on jackets, too. Hey coat makers, can you please please please make plus size coats in tall? I would much appreciate something that can cover my wrists and my ass.

I actually lucked up and found a gorgeous charcoal gray wool pea coat from Anne Klein for $70 at Burlington. I tried it on... And it was surprisingly long enough and didn't make me look like the side of a barn. And I walked away. Got to the car in the parking lot, and turned around and went back to get it. Better to buy and return,  than regret when it's gone tomorrow.

The ELB approved. So I guess it's mine. I really needed a professional and warm winter jacket. And I think this one will keep me happy for this winter at least. Besides, I get cold now. My little Columbia fleece jacket is great, but it's not have enough for everyday wear. And my Columbia winter jacket is great, but it's a men's size 4x, and I bought it over 10 years ago. So I can totally justify this new jacket. ;) I felt kind of cute in it.

Friday, October 17, 2014

I can't take it anymore

It's been about a month since I've been able to sleep without constantly coughing, vomiting, etc.

I emailed my allergist, explained the situation, and she called me in antibiotics and prednisone. She thinks that a viral infection has manifested as a bacterial infection... So now I'm going to go at it with the big guns... Literally, the antibiotics are HUGE... But feeling better should follow behind.

Seriously, I'm going to have to either crush that mother, or break it up into 3-4 pieces. And BTW, girls night is postponed because of me. Sigh.

Happy Friday.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

NSV today

About 9 years ago, I went to Michigan to visit my best friend for thanksgiving... And we went shopping. I bought a pair of black work pants and a sweater. I have never worn either of them until today.

This morning. I pulled out this sweater... With the tag still attached (!) that I've been carrying around with me on at least two moves. And it fit nicely enough that I could wear it to work today.

And I got three compliments on it.

Not quite there with the pants... But soon.

So I guess this kind of a #tbt post.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Donny giveth, and Donny taketh away

So for one good day, I was a piggy. I was able to EAT for the first time in almost two weeks... And I may have went a little crazy.... But it is either feast or famine with my LapBand lately. So when I CAN eat, I try to stock pile as many calories as I can, knowing that the next day, I might be back to starving.

Yesterday, I felt Donny closing the gates... And this morning... BAM! The door was closed.

So back to protein shakes and mashed potatoes until this weather passes again. At least I can bulk up potatoes by making them with broth and soymilk, and adding cheese and Greek yogurt and sometimes shredded protein to give it more nutrition.

Go next Wednesday for my evaluation and potential unfill. I can survive until then.

I've already planned girls night dinner from the online menu for Friday... I'm ordering the hummus/tappenade plate. And booze. Balanced, right?

Happy hump day.

Monday, October 13, 2014

A breakthrough...

Today, I had a breakthrough. I was able to eat... And not a single issue. I had a bagel with homemade protein chicken salad, cheddar cheese, a turkey and swiss grilled sandwich, two cream cheese pastries, and some oatmeal cookies. I probably gained 5lbs, but I feel so good.

I'm still going to request a small unfill next week. I'm hoping that less restriction might help me lose weight, since I should be able to drink more water and eat more solid protein. I've been at the same level since November of last year... The ELB says that he thinks I've been too tight for a while... And I'm starting to agree. I'll try it for a few months, and if I don't see a positive result, I'll get it put back. I hope that I'm doing the right thing.

Two days of zumba and a day of weight training on the schedule this week... Then Friday night, hitting a martini bar with my girls!

Happy Monday.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Houston, i might have a problem!!

So last week, aunt flow came to visit and brought along her best friend, SUPER RESTRICTION. They are a formidable team. One drains you physically, as your blood is drained from your body... And the other makes it impossible to replenish.

Following aunt flow, a barometric weather event rolled into town. This caused even more restriction.

As of today, I would say that it's been about 10 days since the last time I ate solid food and it actually went through the band without me regurgitating it all back out.

I talked to my surgeons office today, and they are concerned... But they have not put my PA on file with the insurance company yet... So I can't go in without a $300 bill.

So right now, I placed myself on a liquid/mushy diet until Monday. Fingers crossed that this is just swelling and it will receed. If by Monday, I am still unable to eat solid, I will go to my surgeon for an unfill.

I was worried that I might have a slipped band, but was told by the nurse that if it was slipped I would know because I would have pain and reflux. And I have food reflux but not acid so that's why I'm not going yet.

Keep your fingers crossed that this will resolve itself and I don't have an issue.

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Friday weighin

I weighed in Friday at 329.8. A 3-lb loss from last Friday. Of course, Aunt Flow has Donny so tight it should be criminal... And I'm sure that's the reason for the loss. But, it's a new lowest weight. I kind of hope I can maintain it when I can eat again.

Because I am HUNGRY! It's been 6 days since my last solid food. Since pretty much any food. Sigh.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

A day of sadness

Early this morning, our bunny passed. She hasn't been well for weeks, and it was just a waiting game. Even though you have time to prepare for the inevitable, it never makes it easier. Yesterday morning, I knew it would be soon. And she waited for us to get home last night, give her a bath, and spend time with her before passing away in her sleep.

The ELB had work committments today, so at 3:30am, we left for my parents farm in VA, to give her a final resting place. I think she will be happy there, in a plot of clover with a view of the meadow.

Somewhere, a spoiled and much loved bunny runs free, and maybe my mom will take care if her for me...until I can see them both again.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Friday check-in

I weighed this morning @ 332.8. A 0.7lb loss from my Dr. Appt on September 10. I'll take it!

Long day today. Probably won't get home till midnight. Looking forward to a nice dinner with the ELB at our favorite DC eatery, Burger Tap Shake.

Now to take on the day! Happy weekend!

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

"Super" chicken soup

I threw together a pot of my superfood chicken soup to combat some hella bad sinus issues I'm battling right now.

Ingredients:

1 bone in chicken, quartered and skin removed
Bay leaf
Water
Chicken bouillon cubes
Vegetables: cubed sweet potatoes, onions, kale, carrots, celery
1can of diced tomatoes
Garlic powder
Salt
Pepper

I cooked the chicken in the crock pot with bay leaf, water, and bouillon.

When I got home, I removed the chicken to be deboned, then strained the broth through a coffee filter lined sieve to remove the ookies. Return to crock pot, and add your veggies and tomatos. Debone the chicken than as back to pot. Cook until the sweet potato's are tender. Season to taste.

Why is this "super" ? Because the veggies that you choose should have super food value.

Cooked tomatoes= lycopene, which can help prevent certain cancers

Kale=calcium, vitamins A, C, and K, and tons of other nutrients.

Carrots=cooked carrots are a great source of beta carotene and antioxidants.

Celery= anti-inflammatories, flavinoids, and fiber

Onions=potassium, folate, and vitamin C

Chicken= scientific studies have shown that chicken broth (made from real chicken) can be an anti- inflammatory, as well as supply electrolytes.

So there you go... All veggies and protien, no wasted calories on noodles, and tons of healthy benefits.

Enjoy!

Monday, September 22, 2014

Weekly goals

I set a goal to go to the gym 4x this week. Day one DONE. I made myself go even though it was the last place I wanted to go tonight.

By 7:22am, I was ready for my day to be OVER.. That's how bad it started. And it went like that ALL day. Just pure crazy. But I survived... And I survived the gym tonight.

I was on with food... Meaning that I didn't eat a lot of it. And I'm working on my water right now.

So even though my day started bad, I didn't let it ruin my goals. I DIDN'T go to Hardee's and drown my frustration with a bacon/egg/cheese biscuit and a coke. I didn't go to McDonald's and stuff a double cheeseburger down at lunch. And dinner was crockpot chicken.

I made good choices... And tomorrow is another day.

Bring it on, world... Bring it on. In ready for you.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

crockpot love

I made the ELB a pork loin roast in
the crockpot yesterday. I cooked it for 8 hours on low, but it probably would have been done in 6. But success although just a little dry ...its a learning process. Now I know for next time. I bought a huge porkloin at Sams Club this morning...so there are two more in the freezer for future meals.

BTW this living on a budget is HARD, especially when your new employer doesn't offer flex spending. I paid out of pocket the past few weeks: $30 podiatrist to fix ingrown nail, $20 PCP, $30 for LapBand surgeon followup, $30 for podiatrist followup...plus $80 to refill my allergy meds. I am BROKE. Thank God I drive a Prius, because I should be able to make it to Tuesday to get gas. Yes, I am VERY blessed to have a wonderful medical plan...I just didnt plan for the out of pockets. Luckily, I only have two more appointments to plan (gyno and opthamologist) for the next six months. I'm going to lobby my employer to offer health FSA in the future.

I spent most of the afternoon yesterday hanging out with a friend at the hospital. Her son is having some medical issues, and the hospital is walking distance from my house. It was nice to see her...I just wish it had been under better circumstances.

Today was lazy Sunday. We ate leftovers, chilled on the couch (we are both sick with head colds), and prepared for the week ahead. I have 4 gym days planned, and a busy week at work.

My band has been acting weird. I have been able to eat ALOT lately....and im a little concerned.  no pain, and I still have restriction. Not sure if it's weather or hormones or what. I'll monitor the situation and see what happens.

Happy New Week!

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Random things

First of all a shout out to Hollee as she goes under the knife for her LapBand to sleeve revision tomorrow.

Hollee, you have been an inspiration to so many people with your LapBand journey, and sharing your life with us. Don't forget that just because you aren't going to be a "bander" anymore, we will always be friends. You're going to be in my thoughts tomorrow. And your going to be awesome.

On to other things, my surgeon ordered a nutritional panel last week. I go Monday to have the blood draw done. I have always been borderline anemic, and I know I probably don't eat enough foods high in iron. But we will see.

The past few days I've been wanting salad. Don't know why... But I do. So why not eat it while I want it.

I bought a new crockpot (finally). The finally was for the benefit of the ELB who has been listening to me wax and wane about crockpots, slowcookers, size, features, etc.for about 3 years now...but failing to commit to any of them.

Two weeks ago, we went to look for a FireWire at a local store and I saw it.. THE Crock pot. 4qt, black, programmable, no stupid locking lid with rubber. But I couldn't find it on the shelf, so I went home without it--although I was ready to drop my $40on it then and there.

Then in the Sunday sale flyers, there it was. ON SALE for $19.94 at Walmart. So yesterday, the ELB went to two different Walmart stores to find my crockpot...and he came home successful. I am dying to cook something in it. You know when someone loves you enough to brave Walmart, they deserve to have the first meal coked in it made just for them. So I'm figuring out what to make for my sexy man.

Yes, love is a crock pot. And home cooked meals for years and years in the future.

Happy Tuesday!

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Vegetarian and gluten free lasagna

Yesterday, I had time and a spaghetti squash, so I decided to make a batch of spaghetti squash lasagna. There is no pasta in this ( no gluten) but there is cheese and and egg (which keeps it from being vegan).

My recipe makes an 8x8 baking dish. Make sure that you bake it with a pan underneath in case you have drips!

Ingredients:

1/2 of a cooked and shredded spaghetti squash (approx 2 C. with excess water squeezed out)
2/3 C. low fat or fat free ricotta cheese
2/3 C. low fat cottage cheese
1 egg, beaten
1/8 C. grated Italian cheese
1tsp garlic powder
Chopped Vegetables ( your choice but about 2 C. total)
1 jar of your favorite spaghetti sauce
Olive oil
Salt
Pepper
Nonstick spray
1/3 C. Shredded mozzarella

Saute your veggies in olive oil with a dash of salt and pepper until tender (I used baby bella mushrooms, red&yellow bell peppers, carrots, onion, and kale). Stir in spaghetti sauce and put on low simmer (my fave is Francesca Rinaldi tomato and basil)

In separate bowl, beat the egg then add ricotta/cottage/ Italian cheeses (not mozzarella) and garlic powder and stir until well blended.

Spray bottom and sides of baking dish with cooking spray. Layer in the following order:
Sauce- about 1/3 to 1/2 of total
Spaghetti squash (all)
Cheese mixture (all)
Sauce (until well covered. There may be extra.)

Bake at 350 for about 70 minutes. About 25 minutes before done, remove and add mozzarella to top and finish baking. When done, remove and allow to set up for about 30 minutes before eating.

Yes, this makes about 9 servings...but its yummy...and it freezes well if you cool completely and portion into individual servings. Plus, it will keep in the fridge for up to 5 days--leftovers!!!

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Saturday indulgence

The ELB is off at the MD football game, so I'm home alone fir most of today. In between laundry, I mixed up a quick no bake lemon cheesecake.

1package of neufatchel (fat free cream cheese)
1.5 cups plain Greek yogurt
1/2 of a small container of cool whip (sugar free or lite--your choice)
Lemon extract (to taste)
Vanilla extract (to taste)
1/2 cup sugar
Graham cracker crust (optional)

Allow cream cheese to come to room temperature. In mixing bowl combine cream cheese, Greek yogurt, extracts, and sugar. Use electric mixer to beat until well blended. Taste and adjust flavors as needed.

Fold in half of the cool whip, then put in dessert cups, pie crust, or whatever container you want. Refrigerate until set.

This is my moms no bake cheese cake with the healthier substitutions. Quick and easy.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Choices

There is a staff meeting at work today. This means Panera breakfast.
Of course, Donny is tight because of stress and the weather.

Since none know about Donny, I have to maintain appearances.

One is the breakfast I took for show. The other is the breakfast I actually had.

Do you know which is which?

Saturday, September 6, 2014

It's a matter of taste

I'm about 1.5 years into my LapBand journey.

Lately, I've noticed that some things that I used to eat a lot and that I loved... No longer taste good.

1. Smart Balance--i have used smart balance for eating and cooking instead of butter for about 10 years, when my parents stated using it. I don't buy anything else... But now it tastes weird. Now I can detect a chemical undertone in every bite.

2. Turkey burger-- I've been on the turkey instead of beef burger train since college... So almost 20 years. Now, whenever I cook with it, it just tastes... Different. I've started using other things like ground chicken or ground pork instead.

3. Tapioca pudding--this has always been a favorite, but I picked up some of the pudding cups the other day, and again.. It just tasted off. Not bad, but not as good as I thought it would.

4. Coffee--I'm a late to life coffee drinker, and ive been good with it... Then one day, I woke up and just didn't want it any more.

These aren't all the things that taste off, or different, or weird.. But just ones that I've noticed lately.

Have any of you had this phenomenon? I'm wondering if it's just part of the LapBand experience.

I did it...

Despite all of the obstacles to the contrary on Friday... A splitting migraine, a period from hell (with nonstop cramps and 6lbs of bloating), and just general tiredness from a long (even though it was short) week in which the Very Last Thing I wanted to do on a Friday night was go to the gym.... I went to the gym.

The gym owner had been planning to try out a throwback floor/step class, so me and 4 of the girls that I take zumba with were asked to participate. I knew that if I backed out that it would look like I wasn't interested... So I made myself go.

And I'm so glad I did! For the time the class went on, I was able to forget about my cramps, my headache faded into the background, and I think I sweated out 3 lbs of bloat.

All in all a success. Even more so if the owner decided to offer this class on Friday nights on the future. It's a change and it was fun and I plan to go if they offer it again.

Today I'm miserable again. Aunt flow is kicking my ass. It was so bad that I actually went back to bed this morning for an hour and prayed for the pain to stop.

It didn't stop but at least I'm able to function.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

The week that... Wasn't?

Last week, my ADD (spastic high-strung boss) started preparing to go to a work conference in Texas. All week, she worked on to-do lists for everyone to work on this week while she would be gone.

I came in this morning, expecting a huge stuffed full of tasks bin. The bin was empty. With dread, I opened my door, expecting a stack of color coded folders... And nothing. Finally, I logged into my email anticipating... Something.... Anything.

And nothing except for one email.

One email that was actually a request to send an email to someone else for a task for them to complete.

Today was hell. I was so flipping bored. And next week, when my boss gets back... It's going to be CRAZY. Sigh.

That's the way the cookie crumbles... Straight into my mouth because even with this LapBand I'm still a boredom snack attempter.

Oh and my toe still hurts.  And I'm hormonal and bitchy and tired. And yesterday it was so hot! And I'm just being a big baby.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Late nights and spastic bosses

I finished my second night of the home buying class I'm taking. I learned so much and I'm excited to start researching things like brokers and agents and mortgages.

And my boss is a spazz. Luckily, she's going out of town to a conference next week so I get a little bit of a break. I like my boss... But I swear she has ADHD and she can be exhausting. It will be nice to have a quiet week at work.

I'm going to stop getting on the scale every week. Instead I'm only going to weigh the week of my period, since that is the only week I seem to have a loss. The other three weeks I fluctuate with the same 4lbs then I lose. So no weighing until next week.

So anyways, happy holiday weekend! Whatever you get up to, be safe!

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Sunday check in

It's Sunday. It was an absolutely gorgeous day here in Baltimore. The ELB and I went out and did some much needed car maintenance... A good wash, wax, windshield cleaning, and armor-alling. The car looks so good... Minus the multitude of dings, dents, and scratches that comes with city life and city parking.

I'm getting my ingrown nail cut out tomorrow after work. Luckily (or unluckily) the Orioles are in town for the next 14 days so I have time to heal. My next day at the gym will be Sept 5... Just in time for the 80's throwback step class. So excited!

Not much else going on. The next two weeks week be a total cluster on the city. There is a new casino opening just a few blocks away from our neighborhood this week... In combination with baseball being at home, plus Ravens season getting ready to start.

We are so ready to get out of this city.

So hope you all have a terrific week ahead!

Oh yeah, maybe some new recipes to post this week. One is in the crock pot as we speak!

Monday, August 18, 2014

New week

So my review went AMAZING. I got some great input, a ton of new projects, and I'm happy. I'm so glad that I took a chance to spread my wings and go after something new professionally. My weight was holding me back, and I know that.  My LapBand and weightloss gave me confidence in myself to come out of my comfort zone.

I forgot to weigh Friday morning, so I don't know what I'm looking at this week but it's OK.

I was at the gym tonight, and it was great. I tried out one of my new pair of Adidas running shoes and they did awesome. I ran 10 minutes of my 20 on the treadmill. And by running I mean the loping jogwalk that I should trademark. But I'm moving and that's all that matters.

I'm so close to my first 100 lbs. I'm going to do my best to stay on track. I only have this week then two whole weeks with no gym because the Orioles are back next week. But I'm going to have my toe nail fixed next week and now my recover time won't detract from gym time.

So short term goal is to try to lose 6lbs. That's totally doable. Once I get past my 6lbs, I'll start focusing on my next long term goal of 75. I will get there.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Back to the grind

I'm back to regular life. This week has been crazy. I've done OK with food this week... Except for the donut I had for breakfast this morning.

I also got back to the gym tonight, and it was zumba and it was great to be back. I'm going to try to make myself go and do weights tomorrow... But tomorrow is Friday and I'm exhausted. But I'll do my best.

Nothing else is going on. I survived the dad visit. I get my review tomorrow.

Hope that the scale doesn't show a gain! Happy Friday.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Birthdays, periods, and stress...oh my!

So this week typically sucks. I have to deal with turning yet another year older. I have to deal with my dad and brother for my moms birthday memorial. And compounding it this week was aunt flow.

Realizing aunt flow was on the horizon, I skipped my last two bc pills last week in hopes to get her to start early. It worked and as of today, she is out of the house.

Last week my dad told me that my brother had to work this weekend and couldn't do the memorial. That relieved so much stress!

However, this week I have been tight tight tight. My band is so restrictive right now that I'm really relying on shakes to get through. Hopefully, I'll loosen up tomorrow... But I'm going to get out of dinner with my dad BC I don't know for a fact if I will be loose enough to eat.. Which would lead to alot of questions since he doesn't know about my band. He sounded so disappointed when I told him tonight that we were going to skip dinner tomorrow... But the less time I spend with his wife the better.

Today is my birthday, and as a gift to myself, I bought two pairs of running shoes for the gym (Adidas outlet buy one get one half off!). I spent almost 130 bucks but it's an investment in me. I got higher end running shoes... Both pairs were originally $120 and $100 respectively. But I know that baseball season is ending in about 7 weeks and I'm going to be going to the gym more. And I need good shoes. Right?

Small victory...I weighed yesterday morning since I took the day off today. I was at a new low of 334.4. I dropped 7.8 lbs from last Friday. That just shows I was super bloated...I felt it, too. I had gained after my last lowest weight weigh in.

Anyways, happy birthday to me. Only 6lbs from making my first 100 lb loss!

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Facts of life

I love my new job. It's been 3 months and I'm waiting for my review... Where I hope that I'm told I'm awesome and that they love me and want me to work there forever. Fingers crossed.

It has not been without challenges. I have to fire people... A lot of people. And on the flip side, I have to hire the replacements. So far, that has been the crux of my job.

I can't have work friends because I never know when I might have to fire them. Makes for a bit of a lonely existence. No lunches out with coworkers.

But I'm finally doing what I love... What I've been struggling to do professionally since I graduated from college. And that makes me happy.

I'm struggling with my weight lately. I don't walk in the morning or at lunch any more... My new office isn't really conducive to that. So I rely on the gym. And until the orioles finish their season, my exercise is at the mercy of professional baseball. September 21 cannot come soon enough.

It's also August. I hate August. Next week I have to go home for my mom's birthday. I have to see my dad and my brother and their respective wives. I have to play nice, when inside I want to scream and cry and hit things because I miss my mom and it doesn't seem that anyone else does. And I have to face my own birthday. Another year older. And did I mention that Aunt Flow will be here in time to make this trip with me next week? Sigh.

So I'm probably not in the best place emotionally right now. But I know that I have friends who understand and don't judge me that August makes me crazy. And I love you for that. Just bear with me until I get past this... Until I get back on level footing... Until I can get back in the weightloss game.

I'm still me... Just a crazy manic emotional messed up me.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Sigh

For two weeks, I've been doing really good with food and exercise. Perfect? No.... But really good.

How does my body reward me? With a two pound GAIN.

I can totally see how people get discouraged and give up on their weightloss goals. I'm not asking for immediate gratification, but throw me a fricking bone here. I would have taken a 1/2 lb loss and been happy.

My goal is to not let this bring me down. I plan to go to the gym tonight for weights. I plan to not eat out my frustration with cookies and ice cream. And next week I'll exercise as much as I can.

I have a goal and I plan to get there.

Happy Friday.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Things are... Ok

Life is pretty uneventful in my world right now.

I've lost the taste for coffee, so instead I've just been having protien shakes for breakfast this week. I'm hitting the gym when I can. I'm limiting my cookie intake to one per day... Although the ice cream monster rears its head more often... Stupid hot summer.

I get on the scale tomorrow, but honestly, this week I feel FAT. I'm not expecting the scale to move. I'll be happy with it just staying the same. I'm still optimistic that I can reach my goal of 299 by Christmas... Although I would like to actually lose it by Thanksgiving. All I can do is make the best choices I can and keep pushing forward with my exercise.

I'll see what the scale says in the morning.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Blah blah blah

Busy week last week. I can finally get back to the gym this week. I was up 1.6 lbs Friday but I'm having a period from hell so that's to be expected. I also had a migraine yesterday.

I've been missing my mom alot lately. Both her birthday and my birthday are in August, one day apart... So I think that that's it's partly maybe the passing of another year.

I made a butter pound cake last night from her recipe. It was more theraputic ...measuring, mixing by hand... Escape for my brain. The batter turns this most beautiful golden yellow color and it's so thick and smooth. But it takes time to do it properly... And then a whole hour to bake.

I tried a small piece today but I'm rocking restriction so I limited myself. It was delicious.

There are alot of physical things from my mom that I'll probably lose or misplace or break as I get older... But the appreciation for a beautiful cake batter will never be one.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Day 3

Let me start this by saying...I am weak.

I fell victim to the ice cream monster again last night. It was only two bites and not a whole bowl .. But still, I am weak. I also had a hardboiled egg. Weak I tell you!

But real or imagined, I feel more restriction. I'm hoping it continues.

I made chicken salad with egg for lunch...brought two 1/2 cup portions and two boiled eggs and 1/4 cup almonds for my work food today. I'm going to the gym tonight and doing some light weights and cardio.

Dinner will probably be a shake since I won't be home till later.

I won tickets to see the new disney movie tomorrow night so I'll miss the gym. I know I know but it's a free movie sneak. How could I say no to that?

Happy Monday, y'all.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Day 2

I'm on day two... So far so good.

Yesterday was not perfect. I had a killer migraine. I ate 5 doritos and a spoon of ice cream and drank some Diet Dr. Pepper (for the headache). I am a boredom eater, and because I was alone all day, I ate. I tried to fill the snacking void with lentil soup... And it helped... But I wanted to chew something--hence the doritos.

Today, I'm better. We slept late... Which takes away alot of hours that would normally be filled with food temptations. The ELB is home today, so that helps keep me more accountable.

I'm going to go boil eggs and make chicken salad for day three. Day four and five are back to solid protien. I have chicken breast, and ground/ cubed pork in the freezer for that.

I can honestly say that I felt like I had more restriction yesterday.. Even with just soup and shakes. Maybe it's mental, but it gave me the sense that it's working... But it might be weather changes coming in, too. I know that Friday, even though I had the chance to indulge, I wasn't able to... I had restriction then, too. Go figure.

This Friday is girls night out, and I'm already reviewing the menu for acceptable items at Bertuccis. I'm totally having some sangria, but will avoid the bread and pasta.

I have a plan. Back to packing lunch. Still to hot to walk outside, and the gym is still out until the next Orioles road trip, but I'm going to do what I can.

Day three update tomorrow.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

5day pouch test

Hollee suggested that I try the five day pouch test since I can't get a fill until September because of my new job and scheduling.

I'm going to come clean right now. I'm a bad bander. I have been drinking diet Pepsi. I have been eating ice cream. And cookies. And maybe doritos. And I haven't been exercising... At all. I'm on the carb wagon and I need to get off this ride to fat-town.

So today I'm starting the 5-day pouch test (Google it)...AKA the poor mans fill. It's supposed to do the following: shrink your pouch and increase the feeling of restriction, break the dependence on carbs, and hopefully jumpstart stalled weightloss.

I'm down with all of that!

Today and tomorrow are all liquids. I can do that. I can do anything I set my mind to. Monday starts introducing back solid proteins.

I'll keep you updated! I hope when I get on the scale next Friday that I'll see some results!

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Facing the holidays

I can't wait until next week when I actually get to go the gym on Monday and Tuesday... before the Orioles head back into town for another week. I miss the gym.... A lot. I don't feel that I'm sleeping as well...even though I'm more tired. I feel lazy and fat...not powerful and strong.

I can eat more than I should and I really need to get that under control. I've been eating alot... And I know I'm eating a lot because what goes in must come out!! And alot has been coming out!

Work is great... Still loving my new job. Things go from extreme busy to extreme boredom. Busy days are the best BC boredom days find me snacking.

Looking forward to a long weekend!

Much love and peace out! Happy 4th!

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Updated weight

I stopped in at my surgeons office yesterday for a quick weigh in. I was at 337.2, 336.6 and 337.0. Since this is nearly consistant with my work scale, I chose to update my ticker with a newer weight.

I'm struggling right now with being able to eat more than I should. I also find myself snacking during the day when I'm not hungry. This behavior needs to stop. Now. I'm only hurting myself.

Today I had a whopper jr, small fries, and like 6 chip delux cookies...not good. Too much junk, too many sliders. I didnt make chicken salad this week, so I'm off track with packing my lunch, too. If I've learned anything from this journey, it's to be consistant.

The stupid thing is, I brought grilled chicken, falafal, greek yogurt dip, hummus, and wheat crackers for my food today. And I didn't eat it. I chose the unhealthy option over the healthy one.

It's time to retrain my brain (ReTrain your Brain!) To be healthy and not lazy. To get my butt on the elliptical when I can't go to the gym.

I've been slacking and I feel it. I have a goal to meet. Now to actually get there.

Friday, June 27, 2014

What we have here is...

... Is a good old fashioned PLATEAU.
That's right... I'm stalled. My weight is bouncing between the same 4 lbs. For 4 weigh-ins. I'm either at 241 or at 337. Only those numbers. Up one week, down the next. Frustrating.

That means that I need to change something I'm doing. More exercise. Less cookies. I don't know... It might not be the cookies.... But some changes need to be made to burst through this wall.... Just like the Kool-Aid man.

On another note, my bosses daughter wants to get weight loss surgery because she's tired of being fat. She thinks it will be a quick fix, I'm sure. She is angry that there is a waiting period of six months because she wants it NOW.

However, based in what my boss says, she doesn't exercise, and she eats fast food everyday. The doctor apparently recommended the LapBand but she wants RNY.... More drastic, faster results, less work required.

I am an expert on weight loss surgeries compared to most because of the classes I was required to take. I eant so badly to contribute my two cents.... But I can't.... I won't... Because my band is private. None know that I have it...And that's just how I like it.

But it makes me angry that this girl is lazy. She won't make any effort on get own to fix her life and she just wants a quick fix. If she won't put in the time now, how can she succeed later?

Sorry. I know I'm being sanctimonious... But weight loss is not easy... Even with surgery. It is a lifestyle. It requires exercise and diet and self denial of alot of things.

Sigh. On that note, have a great weekend.

Monday, June 23, 2014

Huh...

This past Friday, I got on the scale at work, and was back up to 341.

I had an awesome week. 4 gym days. Low calorie, hi protien meals.

Then I started thinking about it over the weekend. Friday a week ago, i was down when I didn't expect to be because of donut-mageddon 2014.

So maybe I've been too good at keeping my calories down. Maybe I'm not eating enough calories during the week.

I'm back to writing things down, and portioning again. I've calculated my calories on things I make at home and realized I overestimated the caloric value.

There will be little gym opportunity the next two weeks thanks to orioles scheduling, so my goal is to stick to plan and see if it can help get me going in the right direction. I'm also tempted to try my preop diet again to jump start things...I know I could do it but do I want to do it. I don't know.

I just need to start making some headway. Goal number 1 is to be under 300 by Christmas. That's about 40 lbs in 6 months. That's doable. Then I'd like to be within 30 lbs of my goal weight by my 2 year bandiversary.

I can do this. I know I can. I just have to learn to say no to junk.


Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Last friday

Last Friday I stepped on the scale at work and just about passed out. I did the weight three times. It said I was down 4.6 lbs from the Friday before 6/6).

My unofficial weight is right now 337. This is pretty much my lowest weight since college.

Last week I was not able to go to the gym. I walked one day. Aunt flow was visiting and the previous weekend was my donut disaster. I was prepared for a 5 lb gain to account for bloating and donuts.

I hope it wasn't a fluke. I'm working hard this week to keep it off and to keep going down. I'm going to the gym 4x this week--2 zumba and 2 weight nights. I'm trying to stick with healthy choices and tons of water.

Fingers crossed that this Friday I'm making more progress! I would love to be closer to the 299 number officially before my next surgeon appt in September!

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Another parental holiday

To those of you who are men and might be reading this blog, happy father's day. And to those single mothers who pull the weight of two parents, happy father's day to you, too.

I wished my dad happy father's day yesterday when we had our weekly 5 minute phone call. We talk about the weather. We talk about sports. We talk about work. We never talk about my mom, or my brother, or my dad's new family.

I know that my dad loves me in his way, I guess. And I love him in mine. But we had more in common when my mom was alive. So since she died, we don't really have anything to talk about.

The life I live is one that my dad doesn't understand. I hope that my dad is proud of my accomplishments, but I don't know if he is. I have three college degrees with honors on each one. I have a professional certification. I have a good job. I have a man that I love with all of my heart and who loves me back.

But where I grew up, success is measured differently. Getting married, buying a house, and having kids. The wife staying home while the husband supports the family. That's how I was raised, but that is not the life I want. And in that way, I think I'm a disappointment to him.

My mom wanted grandchildren so badly, and I know my dad does also. But I'm not ready yet. Not physically, not financially. I will be soon, if God deems it so. But I've accepted that maybe I won't be able to have kids, and the ELB and I have decided that we will adopt if that's the case. And that's OK.

Ive never tried to be anyone other than me. I've struggled, I've learned, and I've adapted to create a life that I'm pretty happy with.

But deep down, I can't help but feel that maybe I've been a disappointment to my dad my whole life. I wasnt popular in school, I was never considered pretty, I was overweight, picked on, and fairly miserable.  And I've failed to get married and have kids... Which I'm sure is another disappointment.

That's why I don't go home anymore. I saw my dad last in December for a few hours. The next time I'll see him will be August. It's easier to hide from the disappointment if you just keep yourself out of the situation.

This isn't really where I expected this post to go today. I'm sorry it's such a downer. Just been super hormonal emotional this weekend.

I'll be better tomorrow.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Pumpkins questions ... Finally!!

So let's try this again!

1. If I was on a deserted island, what three favorite foods would I have to have? Before LB, it would have been Carbs Carbs Carbs. Now, it changes on the regs since my tastes change almost daily... But right now, these are my go-to things.

∆Trader Joes seasoned turkey meatballs. They are fully cooked and frozen. I toss 2 in a bag most mornings and have as a mid-day snack once they have thawed. Only 100 calories for two!
∆Trader Joes honey sesame almonds. OMG they are delicious. I portion out a serving a day and snack on at work. For some reason, even on my worst restriction days, I can still eat these.
∆Unjury protien powder. I've been rocking the Unjury since pre-op, and a year and a half later, it's still my go to protien. I have some every day in my iced coffee.

2. If I could meet three people living or dead, who would I choose?

∆My LB peeps! I'm going to roll Pumpkin, Hollee, and CFlick into one as they are all so inspiring and awesome.
∆My maternal grandmother. I'm named after her, but she died before I was born. I grew up with my moms memories, and I hope that I can keep my own mom alive in the memories of my future children. But she sounded like such a fun and crazy person.
∆Weird Al. I have always loved the genre of comedic parody, and he cracks me up. I've been lucky enough to see him live in concert twice. If I met him, I would ask to have him sing me a classic.

3. What would my stripper name be, using the first pet/childhood street formula? Where I grew up, there were no freaking streets. I grew up on a road with a number. So my stripper name would be Sprout Route 2. Maybe I should be a rapper instead.

4. The favorite and least favorite body parts after weight loss.
∆Favorite--face and neck. I'm still on collar bone watch 2014... But I also never realized what I looked like without all the filler in my face.
∆Least favorite--I should say my batwings or my huge apron tummy.... But I'm going to say my face. I've had huge flappy arms and apron tummy and other fat girl issues before I lost weight. But now, I think i look old because all my fattox (like botox) is gone.

5. Do you believe in ghosts/evil spirits? Yes,I do believe that evil exists. I also believe that the spirits of the ones we love can communicate with us and that they protect us from the evil. I grew up in an old house where it was normal to have unexplained footsteps and odd noises, and things to end up somewhere else. But the ones in house i grew up in were family spirits so it was ok.

6. Natural hair color? I'm a light mousy brunette, masquerading as a much funner blonde. My mom urged me to go blonde in college, and it works for me.

7. Bikinis or granny? I like granny panties. They stay where they should so I'm not digging out wedgies, and they provide more protection from the dreaded chaffing.

8. One movie for the rest of your life? That one is tough, and I should probably pick something to make me sound all smart and sophisticated... But honestly, Legally Blonde is my favorite movie. Kick ass soundtrack, too!

9. Guilty pleasure? Other than ice cream with kahlua, it would have to be snuggling up on the ELB. He always smells amazing, and my head fits right into his shoulder just perfectly. *sigh*

10. Pounds I've bid adieu to? Officially by the surgeons scale it's whatever my ticker says. However, I think it's closer to 90

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Pumpkins questions

I hate blogger app. I was on question #4 and it's all gone. And I'm so pissed that i don't want to type it again right now. Sorry. I'll do it... Just not tonight.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Lazy weekend

The ELB and I had a lazy weekend. Once I got home from work Friday, we locked the door and stayed inside all weekend. We never got out of our pajamas.

We figure that after the long weeks we both had, we needed a break from the outside world. Since we dont have kids yet, we relish these times so that one day when we are running from sun up to sundown, we can reminisce about the times we never had to get dressed.

My eating SUCKED all weekend. I made a run to the grocery store for weekend essentials...like ice cream ( for boozy shakes), oreos, salty snacks, and the impulse purchase of Entemanns (apparently donut day meant they were BOGO). My aunt flow will be here this week and appatently the bitch is all about chocolate this month.

But tomorrow is Monday, and that means back on the food wagon. I mixed up a batch of my chicken protien dip for work lunches. I pack 4-5 days a week--saves money and calories. I made chicken fettuccini using shirataki noodles, and will have leftovers for dinner tomorrow.

Unfortunately, the Orioles are back in town for the next two weeks...so I wont be able to go to the gym at all...which really sucks. So I'm going to have to motivate myself to eat right and use my elliptical.

I'm getting my hair cut on Thursday, which is always a treat, despite there being no parking when I go home. City life blows.

Here's to a new week. Eating right. Exercise. And getting back on track.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Quick and easy recipe

The past few days i've been craving hardboiled eggs. A lot. I cooked 6 Monday night, and I just cooked 8 more tonight.

For dinner I threw together a quick egg salad variation.

1oz chopped deli ham
1oz shredded cheddar
2 hardboiled eggs, chopped
2 Tbsp plain Greek yogurt
1tbsp Hellman's mayo
Salt and pepper to taste

I just ate it from the bowl with a spoon... And I'm wishing I had more. It's THAT good!

I hit the weights at the gym tonight. 10 mins on treadmill warmup where I ran 4 of the 10 minutes. Then two circuits on the weight machines, then a 6 minute cool down on the bike. I feel good , even though I probably looked ridiculous.

Happy hump day everybody!

Monday, June 2, 2014

Not alot to say lately

Sorry for being so quiet lately. Not alot to talk about.

Work has been going great. I'm super busy ALL day long... Which is great... Because it keeps me from getting too snacky. And when I do get snacky, I try to stick with protein like turkey meatballs or boiled eggs, almonds, or protein bars.

Last Friday, the scale showed 1.4 lbs gain... But I'm not letting it get me down. I think that the extra exercise will make a difference. I'm going to do 2x zumba and 1 day of weights again this week.

I would love to be close to 299 by my next surgeons appointment in September... But I'm really going to have to step it up to get there. That is, at best estimate, about 40 lbs from where I am now. I know that 40 lbs in 4 months is doable... But it's a little to fast fast for me. Im going to shoot for 20 lbs by September. That is doable in my world. And if I do more than that, great!

Im glad that all of my peeps in LapBand land area having such success! Thanks for keeping me on my toes, for keeping me involved in yours!

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Sweatual healing


I woke up Monday morning with a sore throat, drainage, and sinus pressure. I barely slept Monday night because of the coughing and inability to breathe through my nose.


Tuesday, I was miserable at work. And I had been really looking forward to going to zumba. So I sucked it up, and I went... With Kleenex tucked in my sports bra and some Halls tucked in my cheek. And I sweated. And I survived.

Yesterday, I felt some better. Still congested, still coughing... But I really wanted to do the weights at the gym. So I went, and I did 25 minutes on the treadmill and two circuits on the weights. And I sweated and I survived.

Today, I was still fighting off the blechies. But I went to zumba. And I'm glad I did. I made it through another class, still sticking on a Halls to quell the cough.

I am still fighting off the cold/sinus infection. But I feel tons better and I honestly think that working out has helped.

I packed my gym bag for tomorrow... Not sure if I'll go, but the option is there if I want it.

Happy Friday eve!

Monday, May 26, 2014

Holiday fail

The ELB and i both woke up with sore throats this morning. We have spent the day on the couch drinking tea, watching soap operas, and we took a nap.

When i get sick, Donny tightens up...so eating has been a challenge. I had pb issues for the first time in weeks. All i had was hot tea and soup. Dinner will be mashed potatos. I dont need band drama today.

Since the orioles are out of town i have plans to hit the gym ALOT this week and next....as in 2 zumbas and a day of weights each week. I just hope that i can get over this crud enough to actually go.

Hape you all had a great long weekend!

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Quick and easy guacamole dip

I had half of an avacado from the other night and whipped up this quick dip!

1/2 avacado, smooshed
Sprinkle of garlic powder
Pinch of sea salt
2 Tbsp salsa
2 Tbsp Greek yogurt

Just mix it up and enjoy!

Happy Saturday!

So yesterday I got on the scale at work. I am not using the actual number, but am instead using it just to track gain/loss. I don't know how close this one weighs to my surgeons scale--and that scale is my official weigh scale.

On June 2, I weighed for the first time and it was very close to the number on my ticker-- which is the last surgeons official weigh in.  The next week, I weighed and was up almost three pounds. Last Friday I weighed and was up another 2lbs. Last week was also Aunt Flow, but still....I was not really anticipating a good weigh in yesterday.

When I got on the scale, I was down 4 lbs from my first weigh in on June 2. I lost the 5lbs that I gained plus 4 more pounds. So ignoring the two gains, I'm down 4lbs in the past month. I'll attribute the gain to hormones and bloating and ice cream.

My goal is to continue to lose 1lb a week. And I think that the gym is helping. And so is upping my water. And so is making some healthier foods choices with higher protein and less sugar.

Here is to a hopefully productive and healthier summer!

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Zumba x 2

I did zumba again tonight. I walked in and all the girls from last week were like "you're back!". They are so nice there.

The class was taught by a guy that they like to call "crazylegs" and for very good reason. But I had fun and sweated my ass off.

I came home and had a chocolate Unjury shake and some ham swiss roll ups for dinner. Tomorrow I'm going to go do weights... Or kick boxing. Either way I'm going tomorrow. Thursday I'll have to rely on the elliptical.

I've been reading all of your comments on my posts and all of your posts on your journey. Thanks for keeping me motivated!

Hopefully early to bed tonight.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Pasta woes

Before surgery, I LOVED pasta. And even up until last November when I got my last fill, I could still enjoy it in moderation. Now, pasta is one of my no-nos. One bite and I'm stuck and sliming.

But I love shirataki noodles, and this have given me the sensation of eating pasta.

But I heard alot about quinoa noodles, and I was curious. I love quinoa. I love noodles.

I found brown rice quinoa fusilli pasta at Trader Joes a few weeks ago. I tried it today.

I cooked it all dente per the package instructions. It seems very chewy, and could probably benefit from another minute of boiling. The taste was interesting by itself... But was improved with the addition of some smart balance and a dash of garlic salt.

Will I get again? Maybe. Did it give me the sensation of eating pasta? Yes, but I'll try cooking them longer next time.

I was bad last week. I didn't work out hardly at all due to a very mean visit from my aunt flow. I'm going to zumba on Tues and weights on Wed this week and will try to do elliptical at home as much as possible.

I'm excited for friday when I get to see my girls from the last job for girls night out. Drinks, dinner and lots of gossip. Much needed!

I sorted out some clothes to get rid of today. A lot of turtleneck sweaters and some summer stuff. I posted on craigslist and had a taker in 10 minutes. Happy to be passing this stuff on to someone who can use them.

Hope that everyone has a terrific week ahead!

Thursday, May 15, 2014

First time for everything

I did zumba tonight for the first time.

It was awesome.

I was nervous, but I actually kept up and lasted the whole class. My classmates were awesome, and the instructor was super nice.

I plan to try and go at least once a week.

I got slighty discouraged when I was watching myself in the mirrors during class. All I could see was how big I am. Then I realized that I shouldn't let that discourage me. 85lbs ago, I couldn't have done what I did tonight. So I changed my perspective and the fear went away.

I'm glad tomorrow is Friday. It's been a long week.

Monday, May 12, 2014

Blogger app is stupid

I wrote an awesome post. Then blogger app froze and lost it. Then I had to uninstall and reinstall Blogger app to get it to work again.

Basically I'm back to basics. Starting today.

Lets see how this week goes!

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Happy Sunday

Some would say happy mother's day. I won't. Because not everyone has children. And not everyone has a mother. I don't, and I won't assume you do either.

So happy Sunday. Because if you have a mom you should tell her you love her all the time... And not just one day a year.

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Lazy Saturday

Last night, I ate dinner too late and then we feel asleep on the couch. We ended up just staying on the couch all night BC I thought it would be better for me... But I ended up coughing most of the night and bringing up peanut water... BC I had eaten peanuts last. Not fun.

Today I was LAZY. Well I did like 4 loads of laundry. And even though I tend to give myself food freedom on weekends, I didn't really take advantage of that today. I made some turkey manwich but it didn't turn out as good as I had wanted it to. And other than that and some salted caramel popcorn, it's been a boring food day.

Then we feel asleep on the couch at 730 and just woke up at 10. W.T.F.

I love lazy Saturdays.

Friday, May 9, 2014

It's FRIDAY!!!!

Can't you literally FEEL the excitement of those two words?!?

I went to the gym last night. I didn't push myself but I got a good work out. 15 min on treadmill warm up, 2 circuits on the weights with lower numbers, and another 10 on the recumbant bike as a cool down. I then did some stretching.

It was hot BC it got into the 80's here in Baltimore yesterday... And the gym didn't turn on the AC. And that was ok. It made you sweat... And I sweated!

With the weather change plus exercising, Donny tightened up so I PB most of what I ate last night... Including the Powerade Zero. But it happens. When the weather settles, she will calm down.

I have been slacking on my food journal. I've just gotten out if the habit and keep forgetting. I'm going to work on that this weekend.

So that's it! My boss comes back Monday so fingers crossed that I did a good job while she was gone!

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Struggles

Starting a new job. Learning new coworkers and job duties and schedules. It's exhausting!

I'm eating more... Much more. I feel like I'm eating all day. Even though it's healthy stuff like yogurt and almonds, I'm thrown off routine. And I don't like it. I have been good about packing my lunch though, which has saved money and calories.

I'm going to join the gym tomorrow. It's now or never. And I'm going to make the time now. And I decided to return to basics and keep a food journal again. I've been relying on my restriction to limit my food instead of me being proactive and tracking calories and protein.

Not being able to blog daily has also keep me from sticking to routine. I hope that even though it's difficult that I can post more consistently... Even though I have to do it from my phone.

I'm really nervous about joining the gym... It's been so long that I'm afraid that I will fail... Or look massively stupid. Either way, I'm going forward.

I'm also going to weigh myself every Friday morning at the office to keep myself on track.

Fingers crossed that these new changes will help me start moving down again.

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Ahem...hello?

I know that I've been a posting slacker lately. Used to be that I would get to work in the morning, drink my protein coffee, write a post , and start my day. However, in order to keep my new job,  I've severely limited my online time at work to professional stuff only. It blows, but you know what would blow more? Unemployment.

So now I post sporadically from my phone. It's better than nothing but makes waxing poetic more difficult.

I'm loving the new job. I'm crazy busy. Everyday is a new challenge. I rarely get to finish my protein coffee. I still feel like I have good restriction.

Today, I spotted the shadow of my collarbones. O.M.G. I was so excited! I haven't weighed lately, but there is a scale in one of the pre-admit rooms that is used to do the weigh ins for their biggest loser challenge... And I totally plan on weighing occasionally. My next surgeon appt isn't until September.. Unless I have some issues... So I need to work at staying on plan. SMS the scale helps me to see my progress.

I still need to pull the trigger on the gym. I plan to do that in the next week or so. I've been walking most mornings... Except this week when we had biblical flooding... I'm sure you saw the street collapsing footage on the national news.... Yeah.. Fun stuff.

So that's been my life. I'm not regretting the decision to take this job at all. I needed a challenge... And God brought me one.

Happy Thursday!

Thursday, April 24, 2014

One week almost over

I've almost survived the first week. One more day. It will just get easier from here on out.

Once I get through the training and once my new office is rehabbed and I can move in, I'll be in a better place to buckle down and focus on the (multiple) tasks at hand. I had no idea there was so much involved with OSHA. I'm apparently the safety officer as well as the whole HR dept.

I'm tired but feel pretty good. I've also been walking at breakfast or lunch so I think that's been helping to keep my anxiety at bay. I've also had some mad crazy restriction this week so I'm not stress eating.

The picture is from the Carroll County Arts Council Peep Show. It's an Olaf made entirely of peeps. We went Thursday last week. I thought it was cute enough to share!

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

The new place

Days one and two have gone well. I'm BUSY! Very strict internet policy and I'm kind of sharing an office with IT right not so I'm not going to risk it.

My office will be ready in 2-3 weeks. They are not moving in December now so I'll get my own office sooner... But no window.

I've been slammed with training, meeting people, and trying to keep track of everything.

It's going to be a challenge. Yesterday I was beginning to doubt myself. . .Today I feel more confident thanks to good friends who sent me encouragement.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Radio silence

Sorry for being m.I.a. this week. It was crazy busy. But now I've survived my final week at a job that I've worked at for almost 5 years.

I have a lot to be thankful for at my last job. I was able to get my lap band covered for only a $200 copay. I had a very understanding boss and coworkers who covered for me when my mom was dying. I was able to obtain my professional certification and maintain it for very little out of pocket cost. I made some great friends and I made some good colleagues. I am sorry that my time there has come to an end... But I'm also excited for the next steps to start.

Right now, the future is wide open. I'm going to join a gym. I want to buy a house. I am ready to run headfirst into the unknown with my arms and eyes wide open.

Monday morning I take that first big step. I'm going to start a new job with new people. I'm going to be facing new challenges, new personalities, and leaving my comfort zone for the first time in a long time.

I'm excited for this new future to start... And I can't wait to share it with you!

Happy Easter, Happy Spring...Happy Happy Everything!

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Crazy Week!

This is the last week at my current job--and it's going to be jam packed! I had two orientations yesterday, Wednesday I have a professional conference, Thursday I'm heading to Philly with the ELB, and then Friday I'm out of here! I start my new job Monday.

I'm waiting patiently for my Avenue pants to arrive so that I can try them on. I refuse to wear any of my old pants. They are all washed, folded, and ready to get donated to someone who can use them. If you guys know of someone (or if you are someone) who needs clothing in the 30-34 size range, I have four pretty summer tops, two pairs of crops (1 denim, 1 khaki), and some black work pants that I will donate to them. I know how hard it is to find plus size clothing in those extended sizes, and I know how expensive it is to buy it. Just leave a message and I'll get back to you.

I also ended up ordering a pair of yoga crop pants from Catherines the other day during a sale for 40% off. Those should also arrive this week. I'm excited to join the gym and start working on my exercise. I'm hoping that adding the gym, even just a few days a week, will help me see more results.

No much else going on, except yesterday, it was almost 80 degrees here in Baltimore. Tonight, we are supposed to see snow. Yes, you read that correctly--SNOW. We are actually under a FREEZE WARNING tonight. Seriously.  The A/C was running when I left the house this morning, but by the time I get home, the heat will be on.

I think that the old adage of "if you don't like the weather in _________, wait five minutes" can be applied to everywhere that I've ever lived...Virginia, Michigan, Maryland...except for Richmond. Because in Richmond, there is only one weather--so if you wait for that to change, you're out of luck.

Happy Tuesday!

Friday, April 11, 2014

Friday! Friday! Friday!


That has been chanting through my head ALL WEEK! Well, since Wednesday, when I finally came to work, that is.

It's Friday. I just need to make it through today, and then I'm going out with my work girls for some drinks and fun at Don Pablos. This has been weeks and weeks in the planning/scheduling stage, so needless to say, I am excited! Bring on the Sangria...err, or Margaritas...or, hell, I don't know--something that will make me feel pretty darn happy! There will be alcohol, and probably copious amounts of chips and salsa consumed (thank GOD that chips are sliders--I do not need an episode today!).

I'm going to soak up some of this glorious weather.

I went yesterday to Catherines to get a duplicate pair of the pants I got the other day. They didn't have my size, but they have the "new sizing"--which means, they don't have true sizes any more-it's all combined sizes with numbers like 0X, 1X, 2X, etc. A pair of 26/28 (3X) will NOT fit the same as a pair of true 28. I tried them on. It was BAD. Everything that I love about my pair that I just got was wrong with the split size. It emphasized everything that the true 28 draped. I was so angry and disappointed.And when they checked the system, there were no 28's in that style available anywhere in the system. #MASSIVEFAIL

Seriously, clothing people, Stop Screwing Around With Sizing. What is wrong with having a true size number? I know what I want. I know what I need. And you fail to deliver on that so many times. So the one pair that I have will be worn EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. until I can fit into my pants I already have at home. I refuse to wear my old pants now, knowing how bad they look, and how good the new ones look. I felt so much more confident in the new pants.  I did order a pair of pants from The Avenue this morning--for $19.99. Don't know if they will fit, but for that price, I'm willing to take a chance. It just sucks that you have to pay shipping--because The Avenue doesn't carry any sizes in store over a 26--so I can't go and try them on--and they don't offer free shipping to the store like Catherines and LB do. Sigh.

Okay, off my soapbox now.

I hope that everyone one of you gets to experience this beautiful weather, and that you have a terrific weekend! C'mon 4:30!


Thursday, April 10, 2014

uggggghhh...and yay!

I have been cleaning/ridding out my desk for two days now. TWO. DAYS.

It's amazing how much junk/crap you can accumulate in 4.5 years...not to mention DUST BUNNIES.

That's the Ugggghhh..


The YAY is Hollee is giving away two MATRIX sample packs on her blog. Go check it out. I'm actually entering RIGHT THIS MINUTE by posting this entry.

So, Hollee--you're gonna pick me right? Right?

I'm gonna do the Facebook thing when I get home--the J.O.B. kind of frowns on that stuff at work. :)

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Catching up....to a busy week!

Wow, the past four days have been a whirlwind of activity...sorta.

Saturday we went to Philly, then to Princeton, NJ, and then to West Chester (where Rutgers is just to hit the RU Hungry truck), and then back to Baltimore. Long day, but fun. I scored three future pairs of pants at the Goodwill in Swarthmore--the BEST Goodwill EVER, along with a large summer type purse bag, and three books. One pair of pants was new with tags. All for $4 a pair.

Sunday was quiet, and we stayed in--mainly because we didn't go to bed until 4am, and we pretty much slept the day away.

Monday, we had plans to go to Hagerstown to watch a baseball game--but the rain had other plans. Instead, we slept late, then headed out to Hagerstown anyways to hit the outlet mall.  I scored a new pair of tennis shoes for my soon-to-be new gym membership. I also picked up a fathers day gift for my dad, and some things for his Christmas gift. The ELB got some things at the Under Armour store, and we headed home in the cold and rainy fog.

Tuesday was GORGEOUS. I test drove my commute (20 minutes!), then visited the gym that I found online. I really liked the atmosphere--the owner is female, my age, and super nice. They offer Zumba and kick boxing, and pilates classes--and they have 24 hour access. They also have weights and regular boxing in a ring. It's not all shiny and new--it's broken in and comfortable. And there was a lack of spandex on the women, which was a plus. I think that this will be my gym come May 1--it's more affordable and less intimidating than a Golds or LA Fitness, and it offers classes, unlike Planet Fitness--and it's only 4 miles from my new job.

We made a quick stop at the bank, and then I went to Catherines and got a pair of work pants. I just got one, with the hopes that I will be able to fit into my other two pairs of pants that I already own soon. I also picked up two new tops for spring. Pants are so freaking EXPENSIVE!

I am meeting up with two of my Bandster girls for dinner tonight. Tomorrow, I'm getting my hair cut (it's LONG over due--I haven't had it cut since December!). Friday, I'm going out with my work girls for drinks and dinner. That's been long overdue, also.

My long weekend also meant that I have been a bad Bandster. I have been eating far too much fried food, and not getting my water in, and probably not my protein. I woke up yesterday with a subdermal pimple on the side of my chin that actually was so large it caused a visible deformity in my jawline. WTF. So, today, I'm going to go spend $100 to replace my Proactive cleanser and moisturizer that I haven't bought recently because I've been poor--but which I apparently need to keep my skin clear. And right now, I need clear skin. I do not want to start a new job with acne, and a potential ID badge that will be a constant reminder of that. It's too bad that my stupid drivers license will always show the huge chin pimple I had when that picture was taken.

So, I'm back in the saddle..er, well, the work saddle. I'm rocking my new pants and one of my new tops today. The sun is out. It's going to be GORGEOUS again today. The temps are going to be getting into the 70's for the next 7 days! SO EXCITED!

Happy Hump Day! It's good to back! I've missed you!



Monday, April 7, 2014

On temp leave

Using up some vacation time before I change jobs. I'll be back on wed!

Thursday, April 3, 2014

After today, things will NEVER be the same.

Once you have slimed and PB'd a bite of chicken quesadilla with jalapenos through your NOSE, your life will never...EVER...be the same.

Oh, the humanity!

UPDATED: Because you asked, I'll tell you. I was at work. At my desk. And I had just taken a phone call...so as I answer the phone, I feel the slime in my throat, and I swallow it back until I can get off the phone--NOT a good idea--that forced it to come up and out through my nose. Luckily, I was able to get the trashcan and not end up wearing it--and I don't know if the person on the other side of the phone even noticed--but the jalapenos BURNED...and every time I blew my nose out came bits of cheese and peppers for about the next 10 minutes.


Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Thank you!

First of all, I wanted to thank all of you that left such sweet comments on my post yesterday. It made me smile--and made the ELB smile, too, when he read them all. You guys are so awesome! I'm so glad we are friends!

Secondly, is anyone else LOVING this weather? Seriously, it's awesome.

I walked 10 laps yesterday at work--5 before work, and 5 more at lunch. Then I walked 5 more this morning--and I'll get another mile in on my walk home from the bus stop tonight. I am totally digging these temps and the gorgeous sunshine!

Thirdly, I hate EVERYTHING in my wardrobe! The pants that I can fit into look like clown pants--but the other pants that I own still look like sausages on my thighs--even with a little spandex help. And I detest spandex help--but I'm willing to make the sacrifice to wear pants that fit.

And I want to buy new clothes so badly--but I just can't justify spending money on clothes that *hopefully* I won't be wearing too much longer. So, I'm shopping for spring in my own closet--seeing what I have available there, and hopefully, other than some pants, I should be okay for spring. I still have two huge bins full of my moms summer clothes that I would love to wear--but they are still too small.

With starting a new position soon, I've become painfully aware of how sloppy my clothes look on me, and I'm embarrassed that I walk around in public like this--but I don't really have any other options right now--except to look like a sausage--and that's less appealing than looking like I'm wearing a tent.

I'm looking into joining a gym after I start my new job.  I found a place online that looks like a potential option--it's relatively close to my new job (both the current office and the new office after we move in December), and it's only $25/month. And it has classes! I'm so excited! I think that the price and location are great--I just want to go check it out and see if they are nice or not. Plus, since I budget more than that each month for tolls for the tunnel right now which I won't be using after April 18--I really shouldn't see anything impact me financially. Bonus! Fingers crossed this place is nice and will be somewhere that I will be happy to go and not dread going.

I don't really have anything else right now, except that I hit Big Lots and Trader Joes last night and got some good buys! At Big Lots, they sell Zone protein bars for like, $0.60 cents each. I picked up a few to keep on hand for meals when I'm not near real food. I also found my shampoo/conditioner that I totally love, but which Pantene apparently doesn't carry main market anymore. At Trader Joes, I picked up some hummus, some savory thin mini crackers (LOVE), some gnocchi and some artichoke pesto. I did NOT buy cookie butter! I walked away. That is an NSV if ever there was one!

Happy Wednesday, everybody! I hope that you all have an awesome day! :)

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Still twitterpated after all this time!



Wishing the ELB a very happy 7th anniversary together! 

On March 31, 2007, we met for the first time, and went on a 12 hour date that took us from Richmond, VA, (where I was living at the time) to Baltimore (where, ironically, we live now). When you have nothing but time in the car, you talk about everything. And, we've been inseparable ever since. 

I don't know what my life would be like without having him in it. He is my other half. He's my best friend. He's the person that always has my back. He's my biggest cheerleader, and he's the love of my life. 

My mom always told me to marry my best friend...and one day, I will. But right now, I'm happy with what we have together.

As long as I have him by my side, there is NOTHING in this world that is out of reach. 

I love you, baby. I always will, no matter what. You still make me grin like a fool, because of how much in love with you I am.   

I can't wait to see where the rest of our lives take us....together! 




Friday, March 28, 2014

Small Miracles...

Today, I had an office lunch. I was very lucky, and my business card was drawn out of the bowl at Noodles and Co, to win a lunch for my entire office.

I also took this opportunity to let all of my coworkers know that I would be leaving the company.

Thankfully, Donny behaved today. I ordered the pork mediterranean salad, and had a ciabatta roll with butter. I ate about 1/4 of my salad, the roll, and I was done. No PB. No slime.

Thank you, God! Usually, I have to excuse myself about 10 minutes into a meal to go to the bathroom because I'm having an episode.

I avoided salad for the longest time because I felt that it would be something that would get stuck--like a flap of lettuce would cover my little opening and clog me up. Who knew that salad was a slider?

Guess who will be ordering salad more often when put into social situations that involve food? This girl, that's who!

It's been an awesome day. It's Friday. And even though it's raining, tomorrow will be close to 70! That's a reason to celebrate right there!

Happy Friday!

Thursday, March 27, 2014

The difference a year makes....


March 25 was my one year Bandiversary! I totally forgot to post that.

March 26, I had one year post op checkups with both my surgeon and my PCP.

My surgeon is happy with my progress, he thinks that I am at a good restriction. He is happy that I'm averaging a pound a week in weight loss. He also said that my night coughing doesn't sound like an issue since it's not acidic and there's not food in it--he thinks that it's excess saliva pooling in the back of my throat--because lets admit it--I'm a sleep drooler, and when I sleep on my back, I can't drool it out. So, I choke on it. He suggested elevating my head if I sleep on my back, but doesn't feel that it's anything to be concerned about.

My PCP is awesome and I love her to death. She ran blood work, and took me off two of my three medications (the only one I have now is my birth control pills). My A1C is sitting on 6.1, and my blood pressure is terrific! She will run a full lipids panel in September when I have my annual physical, but I am over the moon right now! She gave me a hug and said that she would see me in September!

I also had a loss of 3.8lbs from last month to this month--and am sitting JUST UNDER 85lbs total loss since starting this journey. WTF! That's the size of a cheerleader!

I'm not saying that there aren't rough days with Donny. We still fight. She tells me no, I tell her that I don't care, I know what I want--she throws some punches, I take them because there really isn't anything I can do to her.  But in a year, as bitchy as she has been to me---and most likely will continue to be--I couldn't have come this far without her. Yes, I did lose alot of weight on my own before she came into the picture. And we had an adjustment period, but I know that I would be a far worse place than I am now without her help.

Before I started this process (six month classes, surgery, and now a year post-op), I was out of control. I was mired in depression, I was eating non-stop, I had ballooned to 428 lbs. I hurt everywhere all the time. I would get winded going up a flight of stairs. I had constant headaches (most likely from my blood pressure). I was always hot and sweating and had heat rash. I was angry. And I hated everyone and everything--most of all, myself.

I had tried diets, I had done exercise, but I honestly felt that I was past the point of no return. And then I met a friend for dinner, and she told me that she had decided to have gastric bypass--and that set the wheels in motion. And then I made a friend who had a lapband, who shared with me all sorts of information and helped me with my decision. So, I will be FOREVER in both of their debts for starting me on this journey. And starting this blog, and meeting all of you and learning about your struggles and your successes and your stories--that has inspired me and motivated me--and you all deserve thank yous for your part in my journey.

At one year in, even though I haven't gotten to my 50% goal (I'm only 15lbs away!), I am still winning. I am no longer on medication to control my blood sugar or my blood pressure. I choose to walk because I like the way it makes me feel. I had the confidence to get a new job. I'm happier, and don't eat to smother my feelings.

I'm still a big girl.  And honestly, I will always be a big girl.  I'm a 6ft tall blonde Amazon, and I'm okay with that. And when I get into a weight that starts with 2, that will be one of the happiest days of my life. I don't care if I ever reach my goal weight--because, I'm already winning at life...and more importantly, my health.

Happy (belated) Bandiversary to me! I hope to that you'll stick around for what year 2 will bring!

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

One of those days...

Donny is being a little bitch. She's closed up tighter than....well, I don't know what--I was going to go the crude but funny route--then decided that maybe I shouldn't.

Anyways, bonus--I'm not hungry! But I can't eat even if I was hungry--so, I guess it evens out!

Plans to make chicken kale soup on the agenda tonight--unless I just cop out and make fat free refried beans with Rotel and greek yogurt. Or I might not eat at all--at the rate I'm going--it will be option number 3.

Snow in the forecast (reason that I'm tight). Supposed to get three inches--but the weather people are ALWAYS wrong--so we will see. Should finish just in time for my drive home!

Kind of dreading the surgeon appointment tomorrow--afraid that my love affair with Fritos and Kahlua the past month will bite me in the ass and cause me to gain. Of course, coupled with my inactivity recently (no walking nor elliptical for like two weeks) is sure to not be friendly on the scale. But my pants are getting looser--so I don't know what's up with that.

Anyways, if you are getting snow, be safe. And Happy Tuesday!