Thursday, May 30, 2013
I've never done one of these, and after reading on Rockband Barbies sight, I figured that since I started my post using a listing system anyways, I would try it here for once.
I assume I just type out random things going on in my life? Let me know if I'm doing this right!
1. I'm still feeling kind of glum. Hoping I can shake it off by the weekend. I don't LIKE being all down and depressed. I hate it.
2. I had to move my next fill appointment back a week (moved from June 14 to June 21) because of mandatory work training that was scheduled. At least my surgeon was able to fit me in. At first, I was told it would be three weeks or more and I was ready to cry. I really think I need another fill to get me to the point that I need to be at.
3. I've been making myself walk every single day--even though the humidity and heat has really taken off this week. I've been getting to work by 7:30 and walking for 30 minutes first thing in the morning, because by noon the temps are hovering around 90. Some days I walk faster than others--but I figure as long as I'm moving, that's all that counts. And some days I walk again at night--but if I don't get my night walk, I can at least say that I've gotten some exercise in.
4. I have been eating ALOT of kale lately. I get it at the farmers market ($2 for two pounds). I braise it up and then can eat it for a week. It just tastes good. The baby girl and I have alot more diet things in common now. I steal her carrots, too.
5. Today, I smashed my coworkers fingers in the power window on my car. I feel SUPER BAD about it. I don't think anything is broken, but her finger is pretty swollen and it got a little skinned up. :( I'm so sorry!
6. I have a dentist appointment today for a six month cleaning. I developed a pretty bad case of night grinding when my mom went into hospice last year--and it really destroyed my teeth so I have at least 4 (maybe 6 by now) crowns that need to be installed. I can't chew on the right side at all. I wake up and find myself CHEWING on my mouthgaurd like it's a piece of gum or something. Sometimes, I dream that I'm eating and wake up chewing. W.T.F.
7. Oh, did I mention how much I DREAD dental work, and how much I know that this stuff is going to hurt? And cost?
8. Lemonade Mio is AWESOME. It tastes just like Countrytime Lemonade. I mix up and drink one bottle a day (because honestly, I could drink it in every bottle of water if I don't limit myself). And I've found it makes a pretty good tasting protien shake (using unflavored or vanilla Unjury).
9. My goal for this summer is to try to get to bed by 10:30 pm every night during the week. I'm working on it. I know that sleep is important for weight loss, so I thought I'd try this to help. And since I usually start my day at 5:30, I should hit around 7 hours a night. Fingers crossed!
10. I still HATE HATE HATE the chewable calciums, and don't take them as much as I should. I can force the chewable vitamin down okay--but with all of my teeth issues (and the grossness of the calcium) I don't know how much more I can take. Seriously, my stomach SHUDDERS at the thought of the calciums. Seriously, I can physically feel my stomach retract.
Wow, I made it to ten. I struggled a bit at the end, but that was fun. Not that you guys really care about any of this crappy randmomness that makes up my life--but oh well, I tried.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Two months today, the ELB and I were up bright and early and driving through an unexpected snow storm to get to the hospital to have Donny installed.
I haven't photo documented my journey like most of you have, and if I did they would only be faceless body shots because I'm being all anonymous. So I don't have any drastic weight loss shots to share...yet.
Maybe in the future I'll be more open and forthcoming about me, but until then, I'll be hiding behind the blog.
So happy bandiversary to me! Here's to the future and hopefully some weight loss!
Friday, May 24, 2013
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
I had a conference for work yesterday, and the bane of my existence was present...the pastry table.
I wasn't perfect, but I limited my consumption to a few donut holes and some of the little bitesize bagel holes.
I'm disappointed that I didn't walk away, but in the plus side, I had an appt with my primary today and she is very happy with my progress. Yes, I haven't lost a lot of weight post surgery but some other things are improving.
Blood pressure: 137/77
Heart rate: 74
The A1C is the biggest improvement. Since November, its dropped from 9.6 to 8.1 and now its sitting at 6.8.
One of the main reasons I wanted to have surgery was to help get rid of the Comorbidities that were starting to manifest: type II diabetes, hypertension, elevated cholesterol.
If I dont lose another pound I'll be disappointed, but I'll still be happy because I'm fixing the numbers that count the most!
Monday, May 20, 2013
She asked me to get a Jr. Roast Beef, curly fries, and a pepsi. And then I ordered a Jr. Roast Beef for me. W.T.F.
The whole drive back to the office, I looked at that sandwich, sitting on the seat next to me. I picked it up, I put it down, I looked back and it was still there. I got back to the office, shoved the sandwhich in my purse, and then took her the lunch she asked for. She was like, "OMG, I am SO hungry. Thank you so much for getting this for me!". And I said, "how hungry are you?", and she was like, "FAMISHED!", so I reached in my bag and gave her the second sandwhich, and said, "enjoy!".
And I walked away.
And now I'm eating the lunch that I brought from home--a 1 cup portion of my chicken burrito bowl from yesterday with 1/2 cup of Fage 0% Greek yogurt on top.
I think that should be a NSV if there ever was one!
Sunday, May 19, 2013
The ELB had been gone all weekend working crazy hours. Since we share a car, I have been house bound all weekend....which is fine because my aunt flow has been kicking my ass.
I whipped up one of my favorite diet friendly recipes for brunch. It turned out super spicy, and I watched my portion size. This is my chicken burrito bowl.
Sliced onion and tricolor peppers sauteed in olive oil. Tyson grilled chicken strips, chopped. 1 can of FF Old el Paso refried beans. 1 can of Rotel tomatoes with chilis. 1 Tbsp McCormick Cajun seasoning. Mix it all together after the onions and peppers are cooked and heat until hot. Top with some shredded reduced fat cheddar and a big dollop of Fage 0% Greek yogurt.
I started making a variation of this during my mushies stage and its a quick and easy lunch or dinner option...and theres a lot of leftovers for some additional meals.
Presurgery, I world have probably eaten an entire pot at one time. I still probably could do it if I really wanted to...but I don't want to. I want to be normal (when it comes to food)...whatever normal is.
Hopefully, Donny is going to help me with that.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Okay, as a big girl I'm not a huge fan of the HEAT of summer....but i do love me the veggies of summer.
Tonights dinner is braised kale with garlic and onions and corn on the cobb. I also have a cucumber and tomato salad on deck...but will probably defer to some turkey burger instead to get my protein in.
What's your favorite vegetable for summer? I'm patiently waiting for the local tomatoes to come into season, but that won't be till August.
Friday, May 17, 2013
So, remember when I said that I got a fill but I didn't think it was working?
Yeah, well, you guys were right. I totally feel Donny today!
Not in a bad way where I can't drink anything and I can't eat anything and I'm PB'ing and getting stuck---just, I can feel her there today.
Every morning when I wake up, before I head to the bathroom to start my getting ready for work routine, I drink some water. I'm basically judging whether I think that I have any restriction that day so I can gauge the rest of the day. And this morning, it went down SLOW.
So, after I gave the bunny her morning raisins, I pulled out the 4oz of protien shake that I made on Wednesday to finish today, and I made my last three ham/swiss rolls. I ate one, and it slowly worked its way down the gullet. I could FEEL it. And as much as I wanted to drink, I really tried not to. So, that plus the 4oz of shake was breakfast.
When I got to work (see, this is my problem), my brain kept telling me that I needed to eat more than that, protien wise, so I went to the fridge and pulled out some thin sliced deli turkey and a cheese stick. On bite #2, it got stuck. Not stuck that it came back up, but stuck enough to make the iced tea I was sipping to back up into my throat. And it was the WEIRDEST sensation waiting for it to pass--I felt it when it cleared Donny--because the tea just rushed down.
I didn't snack all morning, and I took it easy with soup for lunch, and then had two ham/swiss rolls as my afternoon protien punch.
So, wow. I'm happy because I finally know that I have restriction. And since I'm aware of it, I know what to NOT do to make it angry. I will be Miss Perfect Band Girl going forward (okay, who am I kidding--that will never happen!). Okay, so I won't be perfect, but I WILL be aware.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Got my first fill! I apparently have a 10cc band, and there was 3cc in there from the day of surgery. He added another 2cc to bring me to 5 total.
He wasn't able to do the fill on the first shot so he had to pull out the sonogram to find my port. He hit the port on the first try but it bounced of the side and rather than take a chance of hitting the tubing he used the machine. But its done!
I really hope this will help me with the satiety issues between meals. As you can see, I only lost 0.6 lbs in the past month.
So here's to losing weight the next four weeks! My next appt is scheduled for Thursday, June 19.
At support group, only me and my one friend showed up--and she had to go pick up her kid after--so there was no girls night out. We are tentatively rescheduling for next week.
The group was good, though. Chair Yoga. It was great! I like yoga--but lets be honest--it's not easy being a big girl and doing yoga poses. But this instructor has put together this chair yoga program that pretty much means that all the poses are done standing up or using a chair. I didn't think it would work--but it was great! I was totally suprised, and deffinitely feel that I got a decent work out.
The best part was that the instructor was NOT a size two rubber band...she was a big girl! And that immediately put all of the bariatric patients at ease. As she said, she knows how larger bodies move because she has one, and she knows that some positions need to be modified, or some body parts (like tummies) need to be shifted to get into some positions. You can check out her website here: http://www.heartyyoga.com/index.html. Unfortunately, I think she only does stuff here in Maryland.
I might look into taking her next session that starts in June. It's every Saturday, and I think it would be beneficial (even though I would have to drive over an hour each way to get there). She had also mentioned that she would like to put together a yoga workshop for couples--so I'd love for the ELB to do that with me.
My fill is impending today at 2pm. In anticipation, I ate a toasted sunflower bagel with LF ham/LF swiss for breakfast instead of my shake. Since I can't have anything solid for the rest of the day, or tomorrow, I saved my breakfast shake for this afternoon since I won't be home until after 6pm. I also prepped some loose chicken salad (loose meaning super moist with greek yogurt and some mayo) and high protien pudding (made with Silk and Unjury protien powder) for tonight/tomorrow.
I'm a little nervous, but my biggest fear is that it will be too tight and I'll have to go and have fluid taken out. Fingers crossed that it goes okay and that I can jumpstart some weight loss by not being able to eat everything. I'm struggling with going 4 hours between food consumption--i'm averaging like 2.5 hours. :)
My friend with a band who got her first fill a few weeks ago told me that our surgeon is super professional--he found her port right away, and she hasn't had any issues with her fill--and that he is the ONLY one that will do fills--no being pushed off to PA or other doctors. And our surgeon does fills the aggressive way--he will overfill, have you drink water, and then pull out fluid until the water goes through (which is usually around .5cc). She had him take out a little bit extra because she was afraid that she would have issues, too--so I might do the same. We will see.
So, I hope that I have a positive experience today! And here's hoping that I haven't gained weight when I get on the scale today!
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Tonight, we will go to support group (which is about Yoga, BTW), then those of that that can go will head out to somewhere local to hang out and catch up. There may be PF Chang lettuce wraps involved. But that's just a rumor.
I've been looking forward to this for a while--but two or three of the people that were supossed to come aren't going to be able to now--so it will most likely just be three of us, instead of the six that we originally planned. But that's okay--because we are still a support system, no matter how large or small!
I read way back when I was in my 6-month classes that people who attend support group regularly have more long term success than those who don't find that support system. I want to be successfull at this, but sometimes feel that my support group isn't necessarily meeting MY needs with Lap Band. The group is for all three surgeries, but RNY tends to dominate because that is the most popular. There is one girl with a sleeve and me with a Lap Band--and otherwise, it's all RNY all the time. So I sometimes feel a little ignored because the questions that I ask don't really apply to other people at the meetings.
I'm active on the Lap Band Talk forum, and have gotten (and given) some advice there--but was wondering is there another online support system that I can utilize? I have checked and haven't found any local Lap Band only groups in the Baltimore area that can provide the face to face interraction that I feel that I need.
I am one of those people who needs to be held accountable. I lost weight during my 6-month class because every single week, I was stepping on a scale and being held accountable for my success (or failure) that week.
I need more accountability right now. I need the pressure of a scale looming in the distance to keep me in track. Once a month isn't going to cut it, I don't think--too much time between weigh ins. You guys are great, and you motivate and inspire me to do better--but since you don't see my fat ass every day, it's easy to push you to cyberland. I don't want to be a scale whore--but I think I need to at least step on the scale at least one day per week to track my progress.
Once I get under 350, I should be able to use the scale at home--but that could be another couple of months before I get there. Of course, as I say that, please realize that I have no idea what I currently weigh--and won't know until my appointment tomorrow. I have every optimistic hope that even though I have been eating like CRAP--that I will have managed to eek out a tiny loss because of my increased walking. But I'm also pre-menstrual, so I may or may not be retaining water.
Sorry this is all over the place.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Happy mothers Day to all my fellow banders. I hope you all have a great day.
And if like me, you have no mom and no kids, please know that I understand how difficult this time is for all of you.
My mom died last year. This is my second mothers day without her, and it hurts more this year than last.
I have been wished happy mothers day approximately fifty times since Wednesday.
Yesterday I stopped to pick up a few groceries, and the cashier said "I bet your looking forward to tomorrow!". And I had hit my breaking point and said "not really. My mom is dead and I have no kids, so its just another day for me".
I felt bad after I said it, because he was just a kid, and had probably been advised to say that to all the women by his employer, but maybe my little outburst will help him realize that not all women are mothers, not everyone has a mother, and some women want to be mothers but can't.
But I sincerely wish that those of you that observe this day, whatever your reason, enjoy it....and maybe in two years when the ELB and start working on our own little piece of jumbled recessive trait DNA...I'll be able to celebrate it, too.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Eat a cookie. You share it.
I got this at lunch today, and we each snapped off one petal as dessert. Enough to get a taste, but not enough to totally derail the day.
One cookie in whole has 490 calories. Divided by six pieces, its 82 calories a bite. Yes its a splurge but sharing is fun!
You guys can ALL have a petal from my metaphorical friendship cookie. No calories, just awesome!
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
So, it's all rainy and blechy today. You know, what life in Seattle must be like--rainy, dark, and EXTREMELY HUMID.
And as I've learned--humidity = restriction. So, I've had some restriction today. I had trouble drinking my shake at breakfast. I snacked on some Annies Homegrown cheddar snack mix, and was feeling pretty dang full.
But then it happened. I had made lunch plans with some coworkers last week. For today. And since I rarely go out with these two people, I didn't want to bail because I didn't want them to think it was a personal affront. So I went--even though I really wasn't feeling all that hungry. We ended up at this place called Richardson Farms (btw, SUPER cute place).
I got their herb roasted chicken breast with a side of (gasp!) mac and cheese. I know, I know--I have shunned pasta in all forms for months. But I was feeling kind of restricted and thought that the mac and cheese would be easy to go down. And it was. It was ok, but it wasn't great. (I think that MY mac and cheese is superior--so I won't get this one again.) And the chicken was good (just messy and hard to eat--i was wearing some of it by the time we left) and 3/4 of my breast is going home for dinner.
It was the SLIDER foods that ruined my "eh, I'm doing okay food wise" day today. Because this place is like a farmers market--sort of. They have lots of those gourmet type candies, organic fruits and veggies, the Amish bakery and cheeses, etc. I got some things for the ELB (two types of BBQ sauce, and some CowTails), and I picked up some pimento cheese spread and some chocolates (only 5 individual pieces) for me.
The pimento cheese is in the fridge. Three of the five chocolates are in my gullet. I know understand what people say about slider foods. You know, the foods you can eat that aren't good for you, but which go down without issue and don't cause you to feel anything with your band. Apparently, chocolate is mine. And I really need to nip that in the bud. I just ate a ton of calories that I really didn't need. And I'm not even a big FAN of chocolate.
And, to top it off, I can't walk tonight when I get home because the Orioles are in town and it's raining. Sigh. So yea, it's THAT kind of day.
But I have a new resolve today after learning about Chris Christie and his decision to have a Lap Band. He's a public figure, which makes him accountable for his weight loss to EVERYONE. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to go and tell people about Donny--but I am going to be more motivated to stay on plan. If Chris Christie can do it, I can do it. (What would Chris Christie Do?)
I woke up to the news that NJ Governor Chris Christie had Lap Band Surgery.
Even though he's a Republican, I've got mad respect for Chris Christie--for embracing his size, and being who he is. After Hurricane Sandy, he was the face associated with the storm. He put aside the petty political differences and worked with Obama to help the people, much to the chagrin of other political higher ups like John Bahner.
Even though I have a Lap Band myself, is it wrong that I kind of feel like he's a sell out for getting it? After reading the article, I have changed my opinion on that statement--and I think that he has done this for the same reason that I did--and the same reason that you did--to be healthier. To be happier. To be able to stick around for the people you love--and that love you.
Maybe it's his first step towards making a run at the White House, even though he says it's not? I know that he has had his name bandied about as a potential presidential candidate--but the pundits said that he would never be elected because of his size. That the American People would not want a fat president.
Ironic, isn't it, that weight would deter someone from being able to be elected president. It IS the last acceptable discrimination. I think that my weight has held me back from great jobs and opportunities because people didn't want to take a chance on someone of my size.
Now that he's gone forward with surgery, can we expect to see him on the ballot in the near future? Either way, congratulations Chris...and welcome to the club!
Friday, May 3, 2013
Todays lunch--red and orange pepper strips and cucumber slices accompanied with my protein Greek yogurt dip. Made it with cheese insead of chicken. Worked well!
Awesome protein dip recipe
-6oz Fage 0% Greek yogurt
-1 scoop Unjury chicken powder
-1/4 cup shredded low fat cheddar
-seasoning of your choice (i like Old Bay)
Mix it all together and put in fridge for a little while (couple of hours or even a day or two). Eat with your favorite dippables!
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Why, you ask? Well, the ELB and I had a discussion about the idea of nicknaming it before I got it so that I could refer to it as a 'person' instead of a thing--so that when we were in public, or around people who don't know that I have it (which is EVERYBODY), it would flow conversation easier. It also helps me to give inanimate objects personalities--so that I can learn to love them. For example, a future conversation with the ELB with Donny being the topic of conversation might look something like this:
me: Donny is being a total BITCH to me today!
me: you know, DONNY...My "friend" (and I would totally use air quotes here because that is how I roll)
him: I thought your "friend" was Aunt Flow
me: (deep sigh) No baby--my OTHER friend. The one that is with me ALL THE TIME.
him: Don't get snippy with me. You have alot of 'friends'. I can't keep up with them all.
etc etc. I'm sure you can see where this will eventually lead.
Anyways, you may be asking yourself, where did Luka get such an AWESOME and UNIQUE name for her Lap Band? And you would ask me, "Are you a professional namer of inanimate objects?"
And my response would be, "Thank you, but no, I don't name things for a living--but OMG that would be the KEWLEST JOB in the entire world!" I would totally come up with more awesome names for things than they have now. For example, something like the word "door" would be replaced with "swingy thing that locks people out".
So, where did Donette come from? Donettes were the little chocolate covered Hostess donuts that you could buy in gas stations. They used to be my most FAVORITE FOOD EVER. I could EAT some of those bad boys. Stick them in a freezer, and I would just go to town. Only Hostess Brand--no knock offs, please! (Thank GOD they don't make them anymore).
A long time ago, I was super disciplined and I worked out really hard and watched what I ate for an ENTIRE YEAR..and I lost 50 lbs. But one day a week, I allowed myself to cheat. Every Thursday night, after the gym, I would roll through the Taco Bell drive through that was next to my gym and get a quesadilla and a nacho supreme--and then I would hit the gas station next door to that and get a box of Hostess Donettes (two if they were on sale). And then I would eat the Taco Bell and the Donettes would go in the freezer--and then I would eat the Donettes once they were frozen.
I couldn't tell you the last time I had one--it has to have been well over a year ago. But the Lap Band does kind of resemble a small donut (or Donette, if you please). And I figured what would be the best way to immortalize something that I used to love (which is now extinct)? Well, name something implanted INSIDE MY BODY after it. That way, it lives forever--or at least until I die.
So, now you know the story of Donny. And of course, Donny is obvs a girl, because the only male that gets inside me is the ELB. (ha!). Well, except for that one time my surgeon cut me full of holes and shoved Donny inside..but I don't count that.
And as much as it pained me to see Hostess go out of business (because the ELB loved him some Twinkies), inside, I kind of secretly was relieved--because a whole realm of snack foods were removed from my ability to eat them. And that has to count for something, right?
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
I have continued restriction. What.the.Hell?
After my disasterous lunch experience yesterday (with chips and salsa galore!), I went home last night and had a healthy dinner ON A SMALL PLATE. Leftover rotisserie chicken and broccoli/cheddar quinoa as a side. And I was satisfied. About 4 hours later, I had 3/4 cup of SF pudding made with Silk and added a TBSP of powdered peanut butter (yum!).
This morning, I made my shake but was feeling kind of tight, so I didn't have it until after 8am. Around 10:30, I had two small slices of ham/swiss, and then at 12, I had my normal packed lunch of leftover chicken and quinoa (small portion). I am satisfied. I am not sitting here thinking about what else I can eat. I do not feel like I have an endless void needing to be filled inside me.
If this is what I'm supossed to feel like, GREAT! However, I haven't had my first fill--so when I DO get my first fill, will I be too tight? Normally, I don't have any restriction feeling at all, and I struggle to not eat every single thing in my line of sight. I'm wondering how much of this has to do with weather and allergies, and if I need to have my surgeon take that into consideration in two weeks when I get filled.
Maybe I'll have to be one of those people who go looser in summer and tighter in winter to account for these fluctuations? Who knows--but for the FIRST TIME since Donny was put in--I think I feel like what I'm supossed to feel like. And it feels pretty good!