Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Happy Mon...er, Tuesday

So it's back to the grind after a long weekend (of nothing but sleep and daily walks with the ELB), and I'm sitting here and my sinuses are burning and my left eye is watering something FIERCE from allergies. I've been a sneeze machine today.

And now I'm learning that Donny reacts to allergies like she does to humidity--with a little bit of tightness...which is perfectly okay with me! Believe me, I NEED some tightness!

It's been an okay morning--started off the day with an Elvis shake (Silk, chocolate Unjury, powdered chocolate peanut butter and 1/2 a banana). It was interesting. (would have probably worked better if banana had been frozen). Had a pack of Annies organic snack mix around 9:30. And then grilled chicken nuggets from CFA for lunch.

It's been a crazy day. I got in my morning walk, and will walk again when I get home. At lunch I ran errands that involved some walking (Target). 

I'm determined to have a LOSS at my next fill appointment on June 14. I don't care if it's only a pound, I want the scale to go DOWN.

Sometimes, I think that my band is broken--and then I realize its ME that's broken. It's me that seems to eat things I don't need ( Ritz cracker chips anyone? Or that cup of broccoli cheddar soup?). Don't get me wrong--I'm not out eating fast food, I still haven't had rice or really pasta at all, I'm not scarfing down a 1/2 gallon of ice cream or eating donuts or cake. 

I choose protien over carbs when I can. I do make good healthy choices a majority of the time.  I think that the portion control is what is getting me. And I'm working really hard on fixing that.  And yes, I know that this is not an overnight process.  It took me years to get this big, and I understand that it will take time to lose this weight--but I thought I would have just a little bit more progress than this.  Four pounds in two months? Seriously?

So, I'm a wee bit discouraged.  I'm also slightly depressed, I think. I'm not depressed like needing medication....but, lately, I've been really missing my mom.  My dad has moved on. He has a fiance' and an instant family with a grandkid included--something that he's always wanted and my brother and I have yet to provide. My brother and I haven't spoken in almost a year (not through lack of trying on my part). I'm bored career wise. I'm stalled with my weight loss (not that it ever really got started after surgery).

I'm in a funk. I just feel stalled with life in general.

Something needs to change.  Maybe it's me.


  1. I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I'm definitely having a little bit of the stalled feeling with my job.
    Maybe a change would help jumpstart things a little for you. Doing something different? Trying something you haven't done before? Looking for a new job? Focusing on something like that is what what's keeping me going right now.

  2. I am hitting a frustration point too, waiting for my first fill. I guess I thought once I had the band in it would be "easier" than before I had it - so I can relate to your frustration there, as I can't say I feel that yet. I found even "small things" mean I gain weight. I am trying to keep a similar mindset to you - that it takes time, etc. I hope you see a good loss on June 14!!

  3. The humidity seems to make a difference with me too...and Lord only knows...we have some humidity here in the south.

  4. GAH!! That's so frustrating! Fingers crossed that your allergy/humidity tightness works for you!!!