Monday, May 15, 2017

Trying to turn a page

So, the past 12 months I haven't done a thing. I haven't exercised with regularity, I haven't tracked food intake, counted calories, or restricted myself.

I'm paying the price. I had to buy fat pants for work. I had to buy shirts up a size larger than I usually wear. My back hurts all the time. I'm tired. I feel lazy.

I have regained everything I lost in 2012-2014.

And now I need motivation. I need to get my eating under control. I need to cut back on carbs. I need to start moving again.

So I've started by getting my first fill in about a year five weeks ago. Before the move last year, I went and got an unfill, which dropped my band down to the 3cc starter level. Now I'm at 4.5 cc, and it's helped slightly. I get soft stops, but I still drink when I'm eating. That's probably the hardest habit to break.

I have a second fill tomorrow.

My PCP wants me to meet with a therapist. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

I know that I need to make a change. I'm just lazy. I lack willpower and motivation. It's a catch 22. I know that I'll feel better once I start exercising again... But I know that results take time, and I want instant gratification.

I have the tools. I have the knowledge. I just need me to be on board.

So how do you find the missing piece? How do I reclaim that part of me that was so eager and enthusiastic five years ago?

Is it worth seeing a professional? Can I do it on my own? If you've seen a professional therapist for weight issues, how did it go? Did it help?

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