No class this week!

There is no class this week. Or next week. Or the week after.  Our next scheduled class is January 8, 2013.

That  being said, I took the initiative to schedule off-week weigh ins. 

Last weekend. I traveled. I spent two whole days sitting in a car. I did not get to walk. However, I did pack food for the road in the form of  sandwiches. If I wanted a snack, I had string cheese. I did eat one Hershey's special dark chocolate bar with Almonds. Only 180 calories for the whole thing.

I went to weigh in with some trepidation yesterday. I went to the Bariatric office, and when I weighed, I was down 1.7 pounds from my previous weeks weigh in at class.  The girl that was there told me that if I wanted to, I could come back that evening and weigh in on the class scale so that it would be more consistent. When I reweighed on the class scale, I had lost 3 pounds.

I am VERY proud of myself for forgoing the fried seafood feast. As I found out recently, fried foods don't like me anymore. They make me very sick. So it makes it VERY easy to stay away from them now. I am also making a conscious effort to stay away from pasta.  I read that for some Banders, pasta and breads can 'clog' your hole and make you sick. I figure that if I begin weaning myself off the refined carbs now, it will be better for me in the future.

To date, I am down 18.5 pounds from the beginning of my class. My goal was to lose 20 pounds by January 1.  I am only1.5 pounds away from my goal, with vacation and traveling looming for next week. However, I am already making a grocery list for the food that I will pack to take with me. We rented a condo at the beach with a kitchen--so I can cook and stay on plan. I am keeping my fingers crossed that when I weigh in on January 2 at the Bariatic office, it is lower than my number yesterday-that way I will know if I lost! It might not be exact, but it will give me a gauge of my progress.

I hope that you all have a wonderful holiday! I'll hopefully be back with a positive weight loss post on 1/2/13!

A week away from the scale...

Is NOT something I look forward to! Last night was our last class until JANUARY 8.  Do you know what happens between now and January ?  That’s right—holidays.  Traveling. Visits with friends and family. Food. Cookies. Stress. Emotions. Eating. In the end, even the happiest times of the year lead back to eating. And that is a cycle that I am trying very hard to break.

I am taking the initiative to schedule off week weigh ins during the holidays to keep myself on track.  When I know that there is a scale waiting for me every week, it makes me accountable for everything I put in my mouth.  When I know that the scale is FOUR WEEKS AWAY, I will undo every ounce of progress that I have made since September! Out of sight, out of mind, right?

On a positive note, even with the week away from the scale—and two Christmas parties and a football game last week—I still managed to eek out another 2.5 lbs on the scale. I lost the pound I gained during my period, and then lost another 1.5 lbs. I honestly expected a 7lb gain.  I know you think I’m crazy—how can you gain 7lbs in a week—well, I’m not. It’s possible. I’m living proof of that! It takes FOREVER to lose a pound—but you can gain a pound in like an hour if you aren’t careful.

I’m now down 15.5 pounds from my first class weigh in.  It’s taken a long time to get here—but I’m doing it. 

Class last night was actually a reiteration of the information session that we first attended about bariatric surgery. It went over the LapBand, the roux-en-Y procedure, and the sleeve.  It was interesting because the class leader said that most people start off the class wanting to have the LapBand—but end up having the Roux-en-Y instead.  In my class, only three people want to do LapBand—everyone else is bypass.  If the LapBand wasn’t an option, the only other one I would consider would be the sleeve—but there’s no long term data or studies on 5+ years—so I think I’ll stick with my original decision. I am committed to the band!

BTW, I also had my required psych evaluation yesterday, and I passed! Not like it was a test, but you know—it’s making sure that you are ready and committed to the life style change necessary to be successful with your chosen surgery, that you are doing it for the right reasons, that you are mentally able to handle the changes that will face you as you continue on your journey, etc. I know that I still have a lot of challenges ahead of me on this journey, but I know that as I get further in the process, I will be able to face them and accomplish them.

Happy Holidays! Here’s hoping that I can continue to lose weight over the holidays.  I’d like to lose at least 4.5 pounds by January 1. Fingers crossed!

I am weak

I am so weak. I have absolutely no willpower. When presented with an array of food, I am like an addict needing a fix of crack. I think about it, and I obsess about it, and I think about how I can get it and no one would know. Sick, right?

Yesterday, we had our annual holiday potluck at work.  There was an assortment of dishes including ham and beef, mac and cheese, corn casserole, broccoli salad, assorted hot dips, Jello salad, chips/crackers/bread, and of course, the Christmas cookies and cake.

I went in strong. I had one plate, and I chose the healthiest options—I had more protein than carbs, I bypassed the mac and cheese and corn casserole (my own contribution), and I had broccoli salad (made with splenda) and Jello salad with fruit. I had three crackers with a taste of each hot dip just to try, and one roll.  Not bad, right? That was one plate. And I was done. But then I wanted more Jello salad—so I got another small scoop of that with three Triscuits. And then I was done. I was stuffed—but I was good and could walk away.  

Then the Christmas cookie tray came around, and I took one of each, because I knew that they were good since I had them last year.  And they were mini cookies.  I did not eat any of the black bottom cake. Now I was beyond stuffed. I felt like a roly-poly and that someone would have to waddle me back to the office.  But I still felt that all things considered, I had made some pretty good choices. Not perfect—but better than in years past.

Then I got hit with emotions after the Secret Santa gift exchange. My gift was so similar to what my mom would have gotten me if she was still here, that I got upset. I cried. Alot. It was a happy cry because I loved everything in my gift—but a sad cry because this is the first Christmas without my mom. And that my mom would never ever buy me another gift just because she saw something she thought I would love. And that made me emotional. And it wasn't about the gifts my mom would give me. It was that she loved me regardless of how much I weighed, or if I screwed something up.

And I turned to food. I ate a handful of potato chips. I had a roll with beef on it. I had some bread rounds with crab dip. And I felt sick because I wasn’t hungry, but I thought that I could fill that emotional emptiness inside with food. And it didn’t work. And I know it wouldn’t work—but I did it anyways.

Last night, I walked for my 20 minutes, and then my awesome loving boyfriend went on another walk with me for another 30 minutes. I could have probably walked all night to work out my emotions and to make myself feel better—but honestly, it was 30 degrees. It was dark. And I wanted to spend time with him for the first night in weeks.  And I did make myself a healthy dinner of stir fry veggies and beef for dinner.  It was real hunger this time—not emotional.

Today is a another challenge.  A company wide holiday party that is catered. The food choices will be a taco salad bar, chicken wings, and a giant sub, and of course, assorted desserts. I know that I can be stronger here, because there is less peer scrutiny, there are more people and distractions. And the menu really does allow a bit more customization. I know how to make a healthy salad. I will steer clear of chips and tortillas and sour cream. I will leave the desserts alone. Today, I will focus on veggies and protein. And I will get back on track.

My biggest fear is that I think I will gain this week.  Earlier this week, my pants felt awesome and loose. I could feel a difference. But I’m afraid my indiscretions of this week will work against me on Tuesday when I go to be weighed in. and it’s frustrating. I don’t want to be discouraged. So I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed that I can at least maintain, if not lose this week. I plan on doing a lot of walking between now and then to see if it makes a difference.

Have a good weekend, everyone.

Last night...

Last night, I dreamed that I had gained six pounds before my next weigh in—and it made me horribly depressed when I woke up. Next week is an off week where we are supposed to schedule our first nutritionist appointment (which I’ve already had and scheduled my second one), so our next weigh in/class isn’t until December 11.  A lot of people in class LOVE missing weeks—I don’t. I need that anticipated scale visit to keep me on track. I KNOW me, and out of sight equals out of mind—and gives me leave to eat whatever.

With two holiday parties on the horizon next week (office potluck on Thursday, and Company party on Friday), I know that it will be a challenge to lose weight, even though I do plan to maintain. I’m already slightly bummed because I gained a pound at the last weigh in (although I’m chalking that up to hormones and water retention).

My weekend plans include making a big pot of my “Everything but the kitchen sink” Turkey chili, practicing my knitting (a lovely knitting coworker suggested that I get some real knitting needles and #4 yarn, and is going to show me how to get from row 1 to row 2), and trying to NOT eat everything around me.

Every week at class, we are required to fill out a form for the insurance company. It has our identifying information, along with our current week weight, and then we have to fill out questions about what challenges we faced and what success we had. It also has us list our goals for the following week. I might try to do that here when I think about it.

My challenges this week: lunch with coworkers, missing my mom so much it hurts, and not enough sleep. 

My accomplishments: not using retail therapy to make myself feel better, eating my yogurt every day, and getting half of my walks done (weather and coworker distractions prevented the other half).

Happy Friday. I hope your week has been better than mine.

In the never ending quest for information

As you will learn if you continue to read me, I am a researcher. I want to know anything and everything about whatever it is that I'm interested in 

So don't be shocked that when I started the Bariatric process, I embraced it fully, and I spend alot of time reading blogs of other people who have gone ahead of me--those who have forged the path for me, and for those to follow me--on a quest for a healthier life. 

One of the more recent blog discoveries is The World According to Egg Face.  

This girl ROCKS.  I know that I'm not having the same type of surgery (I am going to be a Lap-Bander as opposed to her RNY), but I am EMBRACING her advice--and especially her recipes.  Some of them I want to try now--they sound THAT good. 

So, Egg Face, I bow at your skinny RNY feet, and beseech you to choose me to win your latest give away of awesome post surgical things that I can totally begin using now! :)

How to eat out and not blow it

This is the make- up class from when Sandy hit, and everything was closed. We basically learned how to read a menu and stay within our calorie budgets when eating out. This has been a challenge for me recently, as I just really started eating out again after having taken about a three week hiatus from it.

It all started with dinner last Friday night at Bertucci’s, where I split some small plates and shared a pitcher of Sangria with two friends. Followed by lunch at Chili’s on Monday where I packed in 400 calories for a bowl of soup alone, along with another 400 for salad with blue cheese dressing. (In my defense, Chilis has the BEST blue cheese dressing I’ve ever tasted). Today was lunch out at Panera, where I made some better choices with the Vegetable Pesto soup (instead of broccoli cheese—savings of 100 calories), and ½ of the Asiago Roast Beef Sandwich (at 360 calories) total calories—460 for that—plus another 100 or so for the deadly bread and butter.  And then I ate a Christmas tree cookie. A whopping 430 calories! That’s almost as much as my ENTIRE LUNCH was!

I know WHAT to eat when I go out—but it’s SO HARD. I’ll admit this—I am a SUCKER for bread, especially paired with butter. Bread and rice and pasta are my downfalls.  At home, I eat basmati brown rice. At home I eat Fiber One whole grain bread. At home, I use Smart Balance. When I go out to lunch or dinner—it seems that ALL. BETS.ARE.OFF. And I make poor choices like I did today—poor in eating the bread and butter and cookie.  The rest of my lunch was actually relatively good and within my allotment of calories. Now dinner will be less filling to make up for the cookie indiscretion.  I can’t escape the bread—it’s everywhere. I just need to learn how to say no to it.

Extra motivation: I gained a pound at my weigh in yesterday. So I need to get back into the soup and walking lunch that has helped me recently. No class next week, so maybe I’ll just write something anyways.

Ciao—and I don’t mean ‘chow’! J

Pick the Pink!

This past week, pre-Turkey day class was about recipe substitution.  As a plus sized girl who grew up in a house with a mom who was always on a weight loss plan of some sort (weight watchers, medically supervised shakes, slim fast shakes, etc), there are a lot of things that I grew up doing that I thought were “normal” in the context of food. Case in point:  using a mix of ricotta and cottage cheese in Lasagna.  Using Sweet-n-Low and red wine vinegar as salad dressing. Using Sweet-n-Low with mayonnaise and skim milk as coleslaw dressing.  I thought these were NORMAL! And I still do, since that’s what I grew up watching my mom do, and in turn, learning them from her.  Is it any wonder that I shun the blue and yellow artificial sweeteners and only go for pink?

The majority of the class was spent modifying recipes.  The class leader this week was my nutritionist (the one that I have met with once and will meet with once more before the end of this process).  She is very nice, and it was a change from the other class leaders.

She handed out regular full of fat recipes for us to review, and then we discussed how to make them healthier.  And all of the suggestions that were made were all things that I currently already do! I don’t fry eggplant for eggplant parmesan. I already bake it! I already use reduced fat cheeses and turkey in my lasagna (and it is delicious). If I do get the hankering for fettuccini alfredo, I already do use low fat cream cheese and skim milk instead of cream! Or better yet, a small scoop of the Philadelphia cooking cream is really good, too. But don’t think I cook like this all the time—because I don’t. (Most of my week night meals are bags of frozen stir fry veggies from Trader Joes, Tyson grilled chicken breast strips, frozen cooked shrimp, and microwave rice and veggies from Birdseye. I only cook heavy things like this on weekends when I have tons of down time).

Even though the boyfriend and I didn’t do Thanksgiving this year—yes, we shunned cooking a turkey and all the trimmings—I still feel like I’ve gained weight.  Maybe because it’s time for a visit from my aunt flow, and I’m feeling all bloated and stuff--or it could be the entire pot of corn cake that I made and ate over the course of 4 days—but it will be interesting to see if I gained or if I continued to lose after this week. I've also slacked on my exercise--none on Thursday, or Sunday.

As of last week weigh in (where I lost another 4 lbs), I was down 14 lbs from when the class started on September 11. Yes, it’s not as much as it should be—I should have been losing 2lbs a week—but it’s much more than I thought I could do! The first few weeks I struggled with fluctuating—but the past three weeks I’ve lost consistently (5lbs, 3.5 lbs, 4 lbs) I just hope to keep moving the scale down. My goal was to lose 40 pounds before my scheduled surgery—because as it’s explained, the more you lose before surgery, the more you will lose in the long run—because during the first year after surgery—you will lose about 75% of your desired goal—so the lower your starting weight, the closer to your end goal you can get within a year.

So today is Monday, and during the week, I am awesome at sticking to plan, eating at regular times, and being a great diet person.  (Well, I was until lunch today when I went with my coworkers to Chilis and ate a bowl of Enchilada soup at 400cals, a salad w/blue cheese dressing at 410 cals, and some chips/salsa that I'm estimating at around 300cals). Weekends(and weekday holidays) seem to be my weak points.

Weigh in is tomorrow night.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I have inched down another pound or two—but I’m also not going to get discouraged if I didn’t.  Every day is a new day to make healthy decisions!

I hope that all of you are making your own healthy decisions and finding your way on this journey, also.

On a side note, I think alot of people have dropped out of the class.  There has been no sightings of Amber, Half-n-Half, Dundalk, and a slew of others who never made the postings earlier in the year.  At this point, I'm beginning to think that I'm the ONLY person in my class who hasn't missed a single day. Go me!