Weekend Recap and stuff

1. Had a car accident right after leaving the office on Friday. Of course, being Friday--everything closes early. Had to race to get everything done--including to the rental car place before they closed at 6pm. Thankfully, my tow truck driver was super nice and after he dropped my car, he took me to the rental place. I got there with 8 minutes to spare!
2.  I held it together and hardly cried at all. The ELB suggested that we go out so that I could destress (ie: drink alcohol). We went to dinner at Fridays, where I did not drink. I did eat a pretty sensible meal (minus a few tortilla chips and salsa).  We went to the movies, where I did not eat chocolate or popcorn.
3. Saturday, I slept late. We got in from the movies around 1am, and then had to unwind--so bed was around 2:30. The ELB still had to go to DC, but I decided to stay home to do all the things that I had planned to do on Friday when things got derailed--worked out on the elliptical for 20 minutes, washed my work clothes for the week, scrubbed the bathroom (tub and shower). I made boiled cabbage (another one of my healthy stink foods, as the ELB likes to call them). I don't remember eating anything way off plan, or doing any stress binge eating, although we did order pizza--of which I only had two slices.
4. Sunday, I wanted out of the house, so we went for a drive to PA to visit the ELBS favorite little hoagie shop. He ordered the 20 inch full on chicken cheesesteak hoagie. I ordered the 10 inch roasted pork with sauteed spinach. He ate 1/2 of his, and I ate 1/2 of mine. :) I was full--almost too full with the bread. We stopped at Wegmans on the way home and picked up some cookies (8 regular size cookies), and some PopCorners chips. I love these things. We get the triangle ones, and the sea salt and caramel are our faves so far. I did eat some cookies, but since we only bought 8 total, it was easy to not binge on them.
5. Monday, back to work and dealing with the car insurance, the body shop that called and said, "Our techs won't be able to look at your car until Monday, August 5th because they are closed for the whole week for vacation". WTF. Seriously? So that was another thing I had to deal with--transferring my car to another bodyshop so that they could get to work sooner rather than later on it. My insurance people are great. I just hope I get my car back soon. I was so freaking stressed ALL DAY yesterday. And busy! I'm covering for a coworker, plus my own work, plus dealing with the car issue...I made it to the bathroom ONCE in 10 hours. I ate healthy (I was too busy to be hungry). I walked before work, and then went home and did the elliptical last night, and I didn't eat a huge dinner (although I did have two cookies).
6. Things seem to be way calmer today. I hope this bodes well for the rest of the week and that yesterday was just a fluke. I did six laps this morning. It's a gorgeous day.

NSV? sorta....

So, today is jeans day at work. The one day a week we can wear something other than business attire--and I'm really HATING my jeans right now.

A few months ago, I tried to find a pair of jeans that were a size down from where I was at the time. I could tell that it wouldn't be long before my current jeans were bagging out and looking bad. I looked and looked and looked, and couldn't find anything that would even begin to fit AND flatter my changing shape. So, I picked up a 'goal' pair of jeans that were two sizes down from where I was.

My current jeans are bagging out. The crotch hangs down about 4 inches too low.  They swim around my hips. I can hike them up, Urkel style, to right under my boobs. That's a good thing, right?

You would think it would be IF I could find a pair of jeans that would fit me now. However, my goal jeans for September (size 26) are still too small. All of the clothes that I have from my mom are still too small (they are majority 22-24). I can't find a decent pair of jeans that fit me right--apparently, I have the beginning of an hourglass shape--narrow waist, wide hips. So jeans that fit me in the waist make me look like a sausage from the hips down. Jeans that fit over my (still) ginormous thighs sag everwhere else.

I feel selfconscious and uncomfortable in my baggy sloppy jeans. I think that these jeans make me look HUGE and FAT. Yes, I know, I am still both of those things--but 67lbs LESS so when I got these jeans. I hate going out on weekends, because I don't have anything that fits me and is both comfortable and flattering. All of my work clothes looks like they belong to someone alot bigger than me. We are going to DC tomorrow, and I hate all my clothes. I have NOTHING to wear.

It's a win/lose. Win because I'm losing weight. Lose because I can't look cute doing it. I wish I could just walk into Walmart and buy a pair of jeans--but I don't think that even those would fit yet.

I checked the 'Will a few weeks ago, but didn't find anything that I could even begin to fit in there. And lets be honest--fat girl jeans get worn out in certain areas before other places (namely, the inner thighs because of friction), so I don't even know if I could find a good pair at a consignment shop.

I just have to suck it up work harder so that I can get into my goal jeans sooner.

Four months today

Today is my four month bandiversary.

I'm happy that I'm finally seeing some movement on the scale, and hope that I can continue the trend. I know that some of you may scoff and be like, "but Luka, it's only 6.8 pounds and you really should be losing at least 2lbs a week." Well, considering I only lost 4 lbs in the first three months post surgery (and 3 of that was within my two week post op period), I am ECSTATIC about my loss this month.

I know that we are all different. We all lose at different rates. And I know that some of you have way more will power than I do. Or you have access to gyms and exercise classes. Or you don't work in an office where absolutely no one knows you've had surgery--and you want to keep it that way (and sometimes that necessitates eating the occasional bagel or piece of birthday cake to keep up appearances). Or you don't have to buy and cook food for two people who eat entirely different menus (because I don't think it's fair to deprive the ELB of what he likes because of me).

All of these things are challenges that I have to deal with every single day. I know, I know--#firstworldproblems . But they are all factors that can make or break a weight loss effort--especially for someone who has never been successful with weight loss in the past.

I'm going to keep working hard at walking/elliptical as much as I can (every single day!), counting my calories, and making healthy decisions (the lemon meringue pie blizzard I had last night not withstanding). Come October, I hope to be able to join a gym and start some serious toning-and maybe some Zumba. But that will come in the future. Right now, it's not feasible because of expenses and location. So I will use my  3lb and 8lb hand weights, and my resistance bands, and my elliptical, and the sidewalk around my building at work and I will get healthier. I will. I am determined to.

My goal is to lose eight pounds by my next visit in August. It will be difficult because I will be out of town for a part of it, enduring stressful situations (family related), but I will get through. And you all will get through your obstacles and reach your goals, too.

Now that I've had a sample taste of success--it's much sweeter than ANY treat that Dairy Queen has to offer.

Happy dance

I was wary but my hard work paid of. I lost just under 7 pounds
.
My surgeon was happy...he thinks I'm close to the green zone and didn't give me a fill because of my loss. He said to go another month and we will see if I'm still losing consistently. His reasoning being that if I'm being successful where I'm at that a fill could actually detract from that if it gets to tight. I'm in total agreement!
I also saw the nutritionist before I left. She said that she was so happy with my progress, and I thanked her for all the info she gave me last month that helped me.
My next checkup is September 28.
Lets Hope the scale keeps climbing down!

Retail....Exercise?

Last night, I wasn't able to go home after work and do my elliptical. The ELB and I share a car (because parking in the city is horrible), plus we really don't need the expense of two cars.  That's what public transportation is for.

Anyways, sometimes, one of us will have time to spend time on our own when the other has a commitment.  The ELB had an event that he was working, so I had some time to fill.  Since I wasn't able to get my workout on at home, I got one at the mall.

I went to the Hunt Valley Town Center (an outdoor mall anchored with a Wegmans). I had been planning to go to Wegmans tonight after my fill, but instead went last night to fill time. I picked a neutral parking spot, and then I walked and walked and walked for two hours. I went to DSW and looked at shoes. I went to Burlington and looks at sunglasses (bought two pairs plus a case for $22). I went to 5Below and looked at fun stuff (and got a solar dancing flower for $1). And then I went to Wegmans and walked around an around looking for the things on my list (I love Wegmans but it's not my usual grocery store--so I don't know the layout). But the whole time, I was moving. I did not sit. And I think that this counts as a workout. Every step is exercise.

Most of my exercise is retail related, especially during the day. On my lunch break, if I have to run to Sams Club and Walmart--then I think that those count as exercise--especially since I only get an hour for lunch--and that includes my travel time to and from--so usually I am speed walking to get errands done. I've met friends at Target on hot days to walk around the store and just catch up--and get some walking in.

The only drawback to retail exercise if the spending of money--also called retail therapy. But I think I did pretty good. I spent $24 on stuff for me (I really needed sunglasses--I have lost screws in two pairs in the past few weeks and I was stuck with this expensive pair of Brightons that my aunt gave me--and which I absolutely HATE--I prefer my new pairs that I paid less than $10 a pair for!) and $60 on groceries. It could have been worse, but I was strong and walked away from the shoes. All of the bright and colorful shoes. And donuts. And french baguettes. And the BBQ by the pound buffet with fixins'. Sigh.

Countdown to my appt today. Fingers crossed. Once I finish my coffee, I'm going to slam water the rest of the day to try to flush out my system and any water weight that's hanging around. I hope that I have a lower number to report tomorrow!

Steps..or stairs..or things I fall down occasionally

I had thought of a great post to write about 1.5 hours ago...and then I was like, "No, do your real work first--then come back and write your post. That way you can get something accomplished, and then dedicate time without being rushed to your awesomeness". 

And now I forgot what I was thinking was so awesome a mere 90 minutes ago.

So, yeah.  I'm awesome in the way that my mind is like an etch-a-sketch....just the slightest tilt sometimes can erase a whole idea.

BTW, am I the ONLY one who ever played with an etch-a-sketch and couldn't do more than make steps? The thing is, I never even OWNED an etch-a-sketch of my own. I only played with them at friends houses or at church.  But the IDEA of etch-a-sketch was so appealing, that I would pretty much run to it every.single. time.  But in reality--it kind of sucked.

You think, "today, I'm going to make something great".  And you end up with...steps...to nowhere. Every single time.

And that's kind of what losing weight is like. You are all excited when you start the journey, and after you start it, your enthusiasm fades--and you realize that all you really know how to do isn't much--just making steps. Big steps. Little steps.  Occasionally, you actually make a few symmetrical steps before you drop the ball and wipe out all of your progress.  And eventually you just give it up, and walk away because it's too hard. It takes alot of work and concentration and dedication to be successfull at it. 

But I've realized that when you have a little bit of help--like a Lap Band --then maybe it gets a little easier with time.  And if you add in a support system of like minded people who are on the same journey, it gives you courage to keep going--because you can see where you've come from--and you can also see how far you have left to go. And the ones that have gone before you can show you the way.  And the ones that come behind you are looking to you for guidance.

And yeah, you might still be making nothing but steps--more and more and more steps---but they are steps in the right direction.

Kind of cheesy, huh?

Another recipe that I didn't like

It was too hot to do anything this weekend, so the ELB and I did nothing. We only opened the door long enough to grabe the paper and mail, and that's it. But I did do some elliptical on Saturday. Go me!

I made kale chips. It was an experiment..and probably one that I will not be repeating.

If you didn't already know, I LOVE KALE. I like to cook it and eat it in many different ways. And I've seen the bags of kale chips at Trader Joes but couldn't justify spending $3 for a little bag of air when I can get a huge bag of real fresh kale from the farmers market for only $2.

I tried it. It was...interesting. Here's the before and after. Disclaimer--I did actually divide the before kale between two baking sheets b/c it needed room. I just didn't like the taste of them when they were done.

Before:



After:



I ate most of the kale chips, but when I made dinner, I actually ended up adding them to my veggie mix and rehydrating them because I didn't want them to go to waste.

I go for my 4 month followup--3rd fill appointment on Wednesday. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I see a measurable loss this month. I have upped my exercise, lowered my calories, and have been working hard to fix some of my eating habits (mainly not drinking while eating and waiting 30 mins after eating to drink). So, we will see what happens!