What we have here is...

... Is a good old fashioned PLATEAU.
That's right... I'm stalled. My weight is bouncing between the same 4 lbs. For 4 weigh-ins. I'm either at 241 or at 337. Only those numbers. Up one week, down the next. Frustrating.

That means that I need to change something I'm doing. More exercise. Less cookies. I don't know... It might not be the cookies.... But some changes need to be made to burst through this wall.... Just like the Kool-Aid man.

On another note, my bosses daughter wants to get weight loss surgery because she's tired of being fat. She thinks it will be a quick fix, I'm sure. She is angry that there is a waiting period of six months because she wants it NOW.

However, based in what my boss says, she doesn't exercise, and she eats fast food everyday. The doctor apparently recommended the LapBand but she wants RNY.... More drastic, faster results, less work required.

I am an expert on weight loss surgeries compared to most because of the classes I was required to take. I eant so badly to contribute my two cents.... But I can't.... I won't... Because my band is private. None know that I have it...And that's just how I like it.

But it makes me angry that this girl is lazy. She won't make any effort on get own to fix her life and she just wants a quick fix. If she won't put in the time now, how can she succeed later?

Sorry. I know I'm being sanctimonious... But weight loss is not easy... Even with surgery. It is a lifestyle. It requires exercise and diet and self denial of alot of things.

Sigh. On that note, have a great weekend.

Huh...

This past Friday, I got on the scale at work, and was back up to 341.

I had an awesome week. 4 gym days. Low calorie, hi protien meals.

Then I started thinking about it over the weekend. Friday a week ago, i was down when I didn't expect to be because of donut-mageddon 2014.

So maybe I've been too good at keeping my calories down. Maybe I'm not eating enough calories during the week.

I'm back to writing things down, and portioning again. I've calculated my calories on things I make at home and realized I overestimated the caloric value.

There will be little gym opportunity the next two weeks thanks to orioles scheduling, so my goal is to stick to plan and see if it can help get me going in the right direction. I'm also tempted to try my preop diet again to jump start things...I know I could do it but do I want to do it. I don't know.

I just need to start making some headway. Goal number 1 is to be under 300 by Christmas. That's about 40 lbs in 6 months. That's doable. Then I'd like to be within 30 lbs of my goal weight by my 2 year bandiversary.

I can do this. I know I can. I just have to learn to say no to junk.

Last friday

Last Friday I stepped on the scale at work and just about passed out. I did the weight three times. It said I was down 4.6 lbs from the Friday before 6/6).

My unofficial weight is right now 337. This is pretty much my lowest weight since college.

Last week I was not able to go to the gym. I walked one day. Aunt flow was visiting and the previous weekend was my donut disaster. I was prepared for a 5 lb gain to account for bloating and donuts.

I hope it wasn't a fluke. I'm working hard this week to keep it off and to keep going down. I'm going to the gym 4x this week--2 zumba and 2 weight nights. I'm trying to stick with healthy choices and tons of water.

Fingers crossed that this Friday I'm making more progress! I would love to be closer to the 299 number officially before my next surgeon appt in September!

Another parental holiday

To those of you who are men and might be reading this blog, happy father's day. And to those single mothers who pull the weight of two parents, happy father's day to you, too.

I wished my dad happy father's day yesterday when we had our weekly 5 minute phone call. We talk about the weather. We talk about sports. We talk about work. We never talk about my mom, or my brother, or my dad's new family.

I know that my dad loves me in his way, I guess. And I love him in mine. But we had more in common when my mom was alive. So since she died, we don't really have anything to talk about.

The life I live is one that my dad doesn't understand. I hope that my dad is proud of my accomplishments, but I don't know if he is. I have three college degrees with honors on each one. I have a professional certification. I have a good job. I have a man that I love with all of my heart and who loves me back.

But where I grew up, success is measured differently. Getting married, buying a house, and having kids. The wife staying home while the husband supports the family. That's how I was raised, but that is not the life I want. And in that way, I think I'm a disappointment to him.

My mom wanted grandchildren so badly, and I know my dad does also. But I'm not ready yet. Not physically, not financially. I will be soon, if God deems it so. But I've accepted that maybe I won't be able to have kids, and the ELB and I have decided that we will adopt if that's the case. And that's OK.

Ive never tried to be anyone other than me. I've struggled, I've learned, and I've adapted to create a life that I'm pretty happy with.

But deep down, I can't help but feel that maybe I've been a disappointment to my dad my whole life. I wasnt popular in school, I was never considered pretty, I was overweight, picked on, and fairly miserable.  And I've failed to get married and have kids... Which I'm sure is another disappointment.

That's why I don't go home anymore. I saw my dad last in December for a few hours. The next time I'll see him will be August. It's easier to hide from the disappointment if you just keep yourself out of the situation.

This isn't really where I expected this post to go today. I'm sorry it's such a downer. Just been super hormonal emotional this weekend.

I'll be better tomorrow.

Pumpkins questions ... Finally!!

So let's try this again!

1. If I was on a deserted island, what three favorite foods would I have to have? Before LB, it would have been Carbs Carbs Carbs. Now, it changes on the regs since my tastes change almost daily... But right now, these are my go-to things.

∆Trader Joes seasoned turkey meatballs. They are fully cooked and frozen. I toss 2 in a bag most mornings and have as a mid-day snack once they have thawed. Only 100 calories for two!
∆Trader Joes honey sesame almonds. OMG they are delicious. I portion out a serving a day and snack on at work. For some reason, even on my worst restriction days, I can still eat these.
∆Unjury protien powder. I've been rocking the Unjury since pre-op, and a year and a half later, it's still my go to protien. I have some every day in my iced coffee.

2. If I could meet three people living or dead, who would I choose?

∆My LB peeps! I'm going to roll Pumpkin, Hollee, and CFlick into one as they are all so inspiring and awesome.
∆My maternal grandmother. I'm named after her, but she died before I was born. I grew up with my moms memories, and I hope that I can keep my own mom alive in the memories of my future children. But she sounded like such a fun and crazy person.
∆Weird Al. I have always loved the genre of comedic parody, and he cracks me up. I've been lucky enough to see him live in concert twice. If I met him, I would ask to have him sing me a classic.

3. What would my stripper name be, using the first pet/childhood street formula? Where I grew up, there were no freaking streets. I grew up on a road with a number. So my stripper name would be Sprout Route 2. Maybe I should be a rapper instead.

4. The favorite and least favorite body parts after weight loss.
∆Favorite--face and neck. I'm still on collar bone watch 2014... But I also never realized what I looked like without all the filler in my face.
∆Least favorite--I should say my batwings or my huge apron tummy.... But I'm going to say my face. I've had huge flappy arms and apron tummy and other fat girl issues before I lost weight. But now, I think i look old because all my fattox (like botox) is gone.

5. Do you believe in ghosts/evil spirits? Yes,I do believe that evil exists. I also believe that the spirits of the ones we love can communicate with us and that they protect us from the evil. I grew up in an old house where it was normal to have unexplained footsteps and odd noises, and things to end up somewhere else. But the ones in house i grew up in were family spirits so it was ok.

6. Natural hair color? I'm a light mousy brunette, masquerading as a much funner blonde. My mom urged me to go blonde in college, and it works for me.

7. Bikinis or granny? I like granny panties. They stay where they should so I'm not digging out wedgies, and they provide more protection from the dreaded chaffing.

8. One movie for the rest of your life? That one is tough, and I should probably pick something to make me sound all smart and sophisticated... But honestly, Legally Blonde is my favorite movie. Kick ass soundtrack, too!

9. Guilty pleasure? Other than ice cream with kahlua, it would have to be snuggling up on the ELB. He always smells amazing, and my head fits right into his shoulder just perfectly. *sigh*

10. Pounds I've bid adieu to? Officially by the surgeons scale it's whatever my ticker says. However, I think it's closer to 90

Pumpkins questions

I hate blogger app. I was on question #4 and it's all gone. And I'm so pissed that i don't want to type it again right now. Sorry. I'll do it... Just not tonight.

Lazy weekend

The ELB and I had a lazy weekend. Once I got home from work Friday, we locked the door and stayed inside all weekend. We never got out of our pajamas.

We figure that after the long weeks we both had, we needed a break from the outside world. Since we dont have kids yet, we relish these times so that one day when we are running from sun up to sundown, we can reminisce about the times we never had to get dressed.

My eating SUCKED all weekend. I made a run to the grocery store for weekend essentials...like ice cream ( for boozy shakes), oreos, salty snacks, and the impulse purchase of Entemanns (apparently donut day meant they were BOGO). My aunt flow will be here this week and appatently the bitch is all about chocolate this month.

But tomorrow is Monday, and that means back on the food wagon. I mixed up a batch of my chicken protien dip for work lunches. I pack 4-5 days a week--saves money and calories. I made chicken fettuccini using shirataki noodles, and will have leftovers for dinner tomorrow.

Unfortunately, the Orioles are back in town for the next two weeks...so I wont be able to go to the gym at all...which really sucks. So I'm going to have to motivate myself to eat right and use my elliptical.

I'm getting my hair cut on Thursday, which is always a treat, despite there being no parking when I go home. City life blows.

Here's to a new week. Eating right. Exercise. And getting back on track.

Quick and easy recipe

The past few days i've been craving hardboiled eggs. A lot. I cooked 6 Monday night, and I just cooked 8 more tonight.

For dinner I threw together a quick egg salad variation.

1oz chopped deli ham
1oz shredded cheddar
2 hardboiled eggs, chopped
2 Tbsp plain Greek yogurt
1tbsp Hellman's mayo
Salt and pepper to taste

I just ate it from the bowl with a spoon... And I'm wishing I had more. It's THAT good!

I hit the weights at the gym tonight. 10 mins on treadmill warmup where I ran 4 of the 10 minutes. Then two circuits on the weight machines, then a 6 minute cool down on the bike. I feel good , even though I probably looked ridiculous.

Happy hump day everybody!

Not alot to say lately

Sorry for being so quiet lately. Not alot to talk about.

Work has been going great. I'm super busy ALL day long... Which is great... Because it keeps me from getting too snacky. And when I do get snacky, I try to stick with protein like turkey meatballs or boiled eggs, almonds, or protein bars.

Last Friday, the scale showed 1.4 lbs gain... But I'm not letting it get me down. I think that the extra exercise will make a difference. I'm going to do 2x zumba and 1 day of weights again this week.

I would love to be close to 299 by my next surgeons appointment in September... But I'm really going to have to step it up to get there. That is, at best estimate, about 40 lbs from where I am now. I know that 40 lbs in 4 months is doable... But it's a little to fast fast for me. Im going to shoot for 20 lbs by September. That is doable in my world. And if I do more than that, great!

Im glad that all of my peeps in LapBand land area having such success! Thanks for keeping me on my toes, for keeping me involved in yours!