Slightly disappointed

I got on the scale at the surgeons office today for a drive by weighing. I gained 2.4 pounds. All things considered  I'm ecstatic!

At first I was upset because I weighed at my PCP and her scale weighs different....and it said 367.4! I was ready to cry. But the scale at my surgeons is the one that I am using as my official measure of progress.

So 2.4lbs its totally losable by my next appointment on September 25. Along with whatever else I can get off me.

change is good....right?

I went to the salon last night to get my hair cut.

Just so you know, I am very weird about my hair. I go through stages where I will grow grow grow it out for like, three years and have it all long--and then just walk in and chop it all off and start over again.

I had been growing my hair long before surgery. It was the longest I had kept it since I was 19. The day before I was released to go back to work from my lapband surgery, I went and had it all chopped off to around shoulder length. BIG CHANGE.

The past few months, I have been letting it grow out a little (Biotin is making my hair grow FAST). It had been two months since my last cut, so I had scheduled with my stylist for last night.

I gave her a picture and said, I think that this would be flattering. And she agreed (because she isn't going to lie to me), and she made it happen. She's been encouraging me to go shorter for a while now--and I've been a holdout. From shoulder length to just below chin length. It looks super cute--I think. My coworkers love it. The ELB says that it will take a day for him to adjust, but he liked it. I actually have a NECK! And one day soon, I'll have collarbones and will be even MORE awesome.

I'm changing my body--why not my hair? Change is GOOD!

Humpty Dumpty Day

Nothing new really going on. Still trying to stick to plan. Walking my laps every morning. Getting a haircut tonight. Toe thing tomorrow. Then off for the nice long weekend for recovery.

I've been writing down everything faithfully, but have been a little lax with the calorie counting. I made gnocchi with sauteed kale, onions, garlic and spices..and some grated parmesan. Was really awesome--but I threw away the gnocchi package the night before without reading the nutritional information. I didn't really track how much cheese I used--it was more than a sprinkle--less than a handful. These are the back to basics that I need to start doing again.

I know that I don't need a fill, because I do have restriction. I feel it every morning when I have my breakfast sandwich. Last night, I felt it when I was eating my TJ turkey meatballs. I think I've just been eating too many sliders (donuts, ice cream, crackers, white bread) in the recent past--and that has to stop. I'm only hurting myself, and hindering my progress with this. 

In some respects, I am jealous of the ones of you that can not eat breads at all, because if I couldn't eat bread at all--I would be really disappointed--but probably so much further in my journey. I have not had rice (and I LOVE rice), and I just tried pasta for the first time this past weekend--but that is another slippery slope that I have to be wary of going down.

I am not so much a sugar addict--I am a carb addict. I know, in some respects, they are the exact same thing. Refined white flour = sugar when metabolized. I would choose a warm crusty baguette with salted butter over a cake or cookie any day. I would choose pasta over potatos. But in the end, it's all the exact same thing.

I am not one of those people who can do a sugar detox. I don't think that I'm so addicted that I can't survive without it. And I like having the little treat on occasion. That's why I chose the band over the RNY...no dumping syndrom. I can still exist in polite company/work/public, and noone knows any different.

But I need to retrain my brain. Stop with the donuts. Stop with the bread. Stop with the pasta.

I'll report on my scale visit tomorrow. Disappionted I can't exchange my chicken Unjury--no return/exchange policy even though it's brand new--but I'll survive.

Here's to a good hump day--and a downhill easy slide into a long holiday weekend!

Monday = back on track!

No matter how far I fall over the weekend---I know that Monday morning, I am back on track.

I. LOVE. STRUCTURE!

This week will be a challenge with being off 1/2 day Thursday (getting my toe cut open and fixed), off on Friday, and the long weekend...which means that I HAVE to keep myself on track until work resumes on Tuesday.

I pounded out SIX laps this morning. I had my protien coffee and egg white breakfast sandwich. I have errands to run at lunch. I hope to get on the elliptical when I get home. I need to bank up some exercise for this weekend, since I'm not sure how eager I am going to be to work out/walk with my toe recovery. I won't be able to wear closed toe shoes for at least a week without pain.

I should probably pull out my weights and start working on toning up my arms. They have gotten super flabby lately since the fat is melting out. They were big and fat, but firm. Now they are fat and flappy.

Even though my appointment was canceled on Wednesday, I'm still going to drop by on Thursday (my PCP doing my toe thing is in the same building as my surgeon), and hop on the scale. I also need to exchange a jar of Unjury chicken for some chocolate or vanilla. I like the chicken, but I don't need it--whereas, I use some chocolate or vanilla every morning with my coffee.

I'm scared/nervous to get on the scale. I'm going to make sure that I wear my light weight weigh in pants. Fingers crossed that I'm holding steady or have gone down. I'm afraid that the donut indiscretions will have made me gain.

Happy Monday!

Confession

My name is Luka, and I am a donut-holic.

Last Friday night, the ELB and I drove to Rockville and went to Krispy Kreme. It was bad of me and it was emotionally motivated.

Tonight, we did the same thing. We drove to Rockville (40 miles one way!) and got 1 dozen Krispy Kremes. Stupid app always telling me when the hot and now light is on.

Tonight though, we skipped the trip to DC for burgers, fries, and a milkshake. We just went for donuts.

Did you know they have a chocolate caramel pretzel donut? Me either! But it was delicious. I would have posted a picture but we split it in the parking lot.

I've also discovered that I can tolerate whole grain pasta. I was going to make turkey tacos, but after I cooked the turkey I realized that I'm having pain from my dental work and changed it to spaghetti sauce. I didn't have any shirataki noodles left, so used some of a box from way before pre surgery...and I did ok. I chewed really well.

Now that I have another month before I see my surgeon again, I'm afraid that I will struggle to stay on track. I honestly don't think I need a fill...just more motivation. And less donuts.

it's friday!

'nuff said.

I'm looking forward to spending some quality time with the ELB this weekend before his schedule blows up and I only get to see him on the occasional week night/Sundays. His job is go go go Sept-June, and it's always an adjustment when the fall comes.

I'm wearing my new jeans today. I had a root canal done yesterday afternoon. I picked up some more Mikes Frozen Hard Lemonades for the weekend (I've found that 1/4 of one of the pouches in a glass eaten with a spoon is like a little dessert at night--and I have been sleeping so soundly!). I am a cheap drunk. :)

I ran errands before work and during lunch (will have to make up my morning walk with elliptical tonight). It's calling for crazy storms this afternoon, but it will be a harbringer of (supossedly) cooler temperatures this weekend. The ELB has always wanted to go to the Little Leauge World Series--maybe we will ride to PA this weekend. Who knows.

Just looking forward to the end of the week, going home, and getting some qualify time with my man!

Hope that your weekend is just as swell as I hope mine is!

hola chickies

Just doing a drive by posting. OMG the sparkles worked!

Just for reference, the ELB = ever loving boyfriend. It took time to find something to fit him that wasn't a pain to type, could be quickly referenced, and would make sense.

This morning, I got to work and did my 4 laps.  I ended up going to Panera for lunch with some of my coworkers (soup/bread/chocolate croissant), and my one coworker was like, "I was in (boss's) office this morning when you were walking, and she said, "You can really see that Luka has made alot of progress". So, chalk that up to THREE comments this week about my weight loss, second hand as it may be.

I'm starting to wonder if I've had a more noticeable loss the past month, or if people are just starting to notice?

I was scheduled to see the surgeon next week for my 5 month bandiversary/monthly followup/fill visit. The ELB and I had already talked, and I had decided that I don't want another fill right now. This past month, because of its spectacular craptacularness, really threw me off track with eating and exercise, and I was going to focus on getting back on track. I've also been rocking some restriction (not too much, but enough to make me aware..most of the time).

I was going to keep my appointment, but only go in as a check up and weigh in. The surgeons office called today to ask if I could reschedule--they are having issues with the new computer system.  The earliest they could get me in was 9/18/13. I already have my appt next month on 9/25/13, so I'm going to skip the August visit. I do plan to run over sometime next week just to step on the scale to see if I'm up or down. Fingers crossed it's down. As of last month, I was still about 11pounds away from being able to use the scale at home. I'm hoping that I'm closer to getting under 350.

In addition, I found a pair of jeans that fit (for the time being). These are being called my 'transition' jeans, since I don't plan on being in them for very long. My next clothing goal is to fit into the size 26 jeans I got a few months ago. I had orignially said by Labor Day--but that ain't happening. So, my new goal for those jeans is December 1. I ordered my transition jeanso online through Catherines (for some reason, they are the only jeans that fit right now). I ordered a 28 avg in the moderately curvy cut. I usually go with the curvy cut, because, lets be honest...I have ALOT of curves. Everywhere.

I brought them home last night (don't you LOVE free delivery to stores?), and was afraid to take them out of the bag--in my head thinking, OMG, these stupid jeans are NOT going to fit. I'm going to look like a sausage and realize that I haven't lost weight--I've just stretched out my old jeans  and it just makes me think I've lost weight. Yes, this is the esteem killer I have living in my head.

I figured  that I might as well get it over with, took off my work pants (in the living room), pulled on the new jeans....and they FIT. They are a little huggy on the thighs, but fit everywhere else (not perfect, but better--the crotch isn't halfway to my knees)! So, now on Fridays (and weeekends) I can look better than I did wearing my huge baggy pants I have been wearing. Best $40 I have ever spent! I felt way more confident in them, even with the huggy thighs.

When I was at my dads last weekend, I brought back two old pair of jeans that I had left there to be my "farm" jeans. When I left them, they were skin tight and uncomfortable to wear..but they still had a little 'life'l left in them. (by life, I mean that the inner thighs have not worn through and I could wear them without a patch job). I wore both pairs this past weekend, and they were both loose (but not baggy) and comfy. They were soft and broken in and felt like old friends. So, now I have three pairs of jeans that fit--two for weekends when I don't need to look as nice, and a new pair for casual work Fridays.

This makes me happy. Now, after getting into my first goal of size 26 jeans by December 1, my second goal is to fit into my moms spring/summer clothes (cute crops and tees and skirts and sweaters) in sizes 22/24 by March of next year. I think that's realistic, right? I hope so because I am fo-shizzle broke, and don't want to see these clothes go to waste (although they will one day be donated to some other person who needs them).

Happy Hump Day!