Falling and getting back on

After my (disasterous) weight gain on Tuesday, I resolved to pick myself up, dust myself off, chalk it up to bad decisions, and get right back on the bike and continue going forward.  Until I hit a wall.  And I fell down again--well, really, I didn't even get back on the bike entirely--I was in the process of slinging my leg over the bar and putting my foot on the pedal--when I tipped right back over in the exact same spot. Needless to say that Wednesday started with the best of intentions, but really, I just kind of laid there and cried. And ate oreos and Tostitos--and it made me feel like CRAP.

Now it's Thursday, and I AM back on my bike, and I am pedaling furiously to make up for the time lost--not riding erratically or making stupid decisions, mind you--just being like the tortoise--slow and steady wins the race!

And today has been good.  I'm sticking with my food plan. I ate a good protien packed breakfast of greek yogurt and multi-grain toast with natural peanut butter.  Mid-morning, before heading to the grocery store, I had a string cheese. And I just had a bowl of soup for lunch.

On my grocery store trip at lunch, I bought a ton of soup (it was on sale AND I had coupons), I bought deli turkey and beef for roll-ups and breakfast sandwiches, I got kale ( the bunny and I share a similar diet sometimes), and caffiene free diet coke. Tomorrow, after my second nutritionist appointment, I will venture to Sams Club to get turkey burger and sandwich thins and bottled water. I will make my turkey chili this weekend, and I will relose the weight that I gained. Maybe not by weigh in Tuesday night--but I will bring it back off.  My goal was to be down 40 lbs by my surgery date.  I am still 26 lbs to that goal, and I'm shooting for a surgery date of 3/25.

I've got this.  I just need to hold on a little tighter, maybe slow down the pace so that I don't get discouraged, and keep on trucking.

I like to read a bunch of different blogs, and one of them is Holly at www.300poundsdown.com . She is truly an inspiration, and when I read her posting titled 'Deceptions Dance' about being faced with the demons of pizza--I totally related.  She has strength that I have yet to find, but even the strongest have an achilles that can totally disable us.

The biggest issue I face is having grown up in a house where nothing went to waste--so it's very hard for me to throw anything usable away--be it food, clothing, ANYTHING (you can ask the ELB about my growing obsession about reusing plastic containers from things like Smart Balance and cottage cheese). This is something that I need to learn, and I am slowly working on it--but it's a process that doesnt' happen over night. Maybe losing weight will help me to let go of other things that might be holding me back. But that's a post for another day.