Sunday, January 13, 2013
That's the number of pounds that I've lost so far. When class resumed last Tuesday, I had lost 7.5 pounds between December 11 and January 8. Needless to say, I was so excited, I did a happy dance on the scale. I have been really trying to step up my walking and being more stringent with my calories. And if I don't know the calories in something, I overestimate to pad my numbers for later.
The things I really continue to struggle with are weekends. On Saturdays and Sundays, I spend most of this time alone in the house while the boyfriend is at work. I fill my time with laundry, cooking (diet friendly protein packed foods), and sometimes cleaning--but really watching cheesy TV movies. I don't tend to exercise because I live in the city, and I'm not comfortable walking by myself. Too many crazy people. That's why I try really hard to watch calories on weekends--and to get in as much exercise as possible during the week. So far, it seems to be working.
I spoke with the program coordinator last week, and it looks like I'm on schedule with everything required for the surgery (psych eval, nutritionist appointments, attendance in class, and showing weight loss), and I can most likely expect to get a surgery date in March. There's alot to do between now and then--I need to meet with my surgeon again (Feb 22), schedule a presurgery appointment with my primary doctor, and try to figure out how to explain this to my manager at work. I'm going to stick with the 'gallbladder' surgery. I think it could work. Fingers crossed!
When I started this process back in July 2012 by attending an information session, this seemed so far in the future that it was impossible to comprehend that it would come to a head, and I would actually be having surgery to aid me with losing weight. I have NEVER been a 'normal' size. I have never been thin. While most people are pursuing this option to regain the life they had "before", I don't even know what I'll look like when I'm less heavy. I have always been heavy.
I am having a bit of trepidation, because lets be honest, surgery is SURGERY! There is always the chance that something can happen--infection, bleeding, etc. I know in my head that this is something I need to do for me--to be healthier, to have a baby, to have a life that I can enjoy, to fit into seats at stadiums or on air planes, to move ahead professionally--I'm still afraid of the unknown. What if I'm a different person after I'm thinner (I'm not saying skinny, because I will still be plus sized even after I meet my goal)? What if my sense of humor doesn't translate? Maybe instead of being funny, I just turn into a bitch? It can happen, can't it?
So, as excited I am to move forward and get my Lap Band and start on this path to a new life, I also understand the risks involved, and I know that there is more work required after the Band to be successful. Here's to the future!