Thursday, February 27, 2014

I will functions that include food

Yesterday, there was a huge company wide 'retreat', held offsite at a fancy schmancy country club. 

My biggest fear with these events is the need to eat to appear 'normal' in situations where I am with alot of people who know me--but none of them know about Donny.

The worst thing about these events is that everything is served buffet style--and to a food addicted person who can't eat much because of a surgically implanted device--this is a NIGHTMARE! My brain tells me "FREE FOOD" and to take as much as I can....while I know that it's going to be a disaster.

But I survived by employing some tricks I've learned over the past few months...Basically, make your plate look 'messy' so that it appears you've eaten more than you actually have. Noone seemed to have noticed that I ate hardly anything, and if they said something, I just told them that I didn't care for the ___________.

Of course, my brain sees things like Coke, and candy and cookies and junk and wants me to go balls to the wall. I felt pretty crappy yesterday afternoon--probably sugar crash because I sipped Coke Classic all day (I had 24 oz of Coke! I usually only have about 1/2 c at any given time when I do allow myself a treat). I had it over ice and was allowing it to deflate before drinking--but I think it gave me a sugar headache.

And today, I'm all bitchy and anxious and on edge and want to cry--which are CLASSIC signs of sugar/caffiene withdrawal for me.

I am back on track this morning, and have plans to stay there until Saturday when the ELB and I finally get our *special* dinner at our favorite burger place in DC. Mainly, because I am a seriously broke ass bitch right now. I'm allotting money for our meal that day, and then no more eating out for the next two weeks--everything else we will have to eat at home. I forgot my lunch today, and I'm trying to tell myself that I want to go get nachos from Taco Bell--but I'm trying to stay on track and adhere to the no eating out rule--by pulling out my 'emergency' soup from my desk drawer. But Lemon Orzo soup (bought before Donny) isn't sounding that great.

Sigh. It's seriously a CRAPTACULAR day!

Hope your day is better than mine!


  1. I really don't know how you've managed to keep it secret for so long girl! You are awesome that you haven't just caved in and told like I have. It's so hard to "appear normal". Anyway, one 'bad day' isn't going to derail all of your success thus far!

    P.S. I love that we both started our blogs today with partial old song lyrics!

  2. I am right there with you on the free food thing. My pre-lapband self would have taken that as a license to load UP. Especially on downfall. I know it's going to take me years probably for my brain to catch up to all of the changes. Everything in good time. :)