But I have opened and closed my desk drawers where I keep my 'snacky' foods approximately 100 times in the past hour. Why? Because I think I want something to eat. And every time I open the drawer and see what my choices are, I close the drawer and don't eat any of it.
In my snacky drawer, I have four cans of soup for emergency lunchs. I have six Fiber1 lemon and brownie bars. I have four pieces of Halloween candy that I'm saving for that day when I will die without chocolate ( don't worry--they've been in there two weeks and I haven't eaten it yet). I have tea bags and water flavor infusers, condiments, and protien powder for my coffee. I have 1/4 of a box of Townhouse pretzel crackers that I have had in there for about a month now. I did eat three of the crackers--which is why I am not the least little bit hungry.
I open the drawer, look at my choices, ask myself what am I doing, close the drawer, and then drink water. It's a never ending cycle.
If I was really truly hungry, I have 4 servings of chicken salad in the fridge, along with 2 servings of homemade vegetable soup, and a YoPa yogurt. I have two egg white breakfast sandwiches in the freezer. Therefore, I am not hungry. I am bored. Work is slow today. Things will begin picking up in the next few weeks, and it will be crazy until the end of January. But until then, I have to be conscious that I am not hungry, that I am bored. And I have to pay attention to myself and not eat because I am bored--that I should only eat when I am hungry.
You think it would be easy--but it is WAY harder than you would think it would be. Even with my band, i struggle to know what 'full', 'satisfied', 'comfortable' feels like. I can tell you what uncomfortable feels like--it's that point when you realize that 'oh sh!t, I really shouldn't have eaten that last bite'. It's only at that point, most of the time, that I can stop eating. Otherwise, I just keep cramming it in. I have a hard time with portion sizes. My brain is still working to catch up with these changes. My brain thinks that when you eat a bowl of soup, you have to eat a BOWL of soup. My portion size = about 3/4 cup. My brains portion size = giant soup bowl full to the top (at least two cups--with refills!).
I know that my journey is going alot slower because of this. I am learning. It's a new thing for me, learning how to control the amount of food that I can eat. I spent so many years being a bottomless pit, eating insatiably, that even with the tool I have, it's hard to stop it.
Does it get easier? I sure as hell hope so!
yes, I did delete the post from earlier. you're welcome!
Boredom eating is my downfall too. Like your post title...its hard to break that bad habit...you think you want it...ugh. Proud of you! You can do this!
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