Case in point, on Tuesday, I went to Panera for lunch with my coworkers. As we were walking out, there were three boys (probably around 8-10 years of age) sitting at a table on the patio--obvs waiting for their mom.
As we walked by, they all starting going "MOOOOOOO! MOOOOOO!". Repeatedly. My coworkers are like, "Why are they mooing? Is that a new game, to pretend to be cows?". I didn't say anything. I knew why they were mooing. They were mooing at me. And I was too embarassed to let my coworkers know that.
My coworkers don't have weight issues. They are petite and normal. I am not. I am 6ft tall and still weigh over 350 lbs. I am a 'big girl'. And apparently, little boys think its funny to moo at fat people.
I really wanted to wait for the parent to come back so that I could tell them about teaching kids to respect others. I wanted to track her down inside the restaurant and ask her to teach her kids humility. But I know what I would have found--a tiny petite entitled skinny bitch who lives every day to be a MILF--and who would probably deny that her little bags of DNA would do such a thing--while she secretely laughs at the fat girl--just like she did in high school.
I am 36 years old. I should be able to go to lunch and not have to worry about rude kids ruining my lunch. I should be able to walk down a street without people whipping out cell phones to snap my picture to show their friends, or yelling at me from their car windows. Or staring--whipping their heads around so violently that they almost drive into oncoming traffic.
But for some little punk ass kids to ridicule someone with a weight problem in public--that crosses the line. And it makes me angry. And it makes me sad. Sad that children can bully adults. Sad that children can bully other children. Sad that I spent a majority of my life being bullied for my weight--and it never stops. I thought once I got out of elementary and went to HS that things would be different. Wrong. I thought once I got out of the immaturity of HS and into college, that things would be better. People in college aren't like HS. Super wrong. People in college are the SAME PEOPLE from HS--just older and often, drunker. I thought that once I was out of college and in the real world, people wouldn't revert to childish behavior in professional environments. Wow, I was SO wrong about that one.
I had a woman in a Lexus yell at me that I should " Try to lose some weight..because you're so fat". Ironically, I was walking, trying to do just that. I yelled back at her, "Is that the best you can do? Because your SO CREATIVE! I've NEVER heard that one before" before she sped off.
What justifies people to act like this? Why is weight discrimination still acceptable? When will it change? Will it ever get better? Or will demons for the overwight always be lurking in the form of mean kids and skinny bitches and discrimination?
Yes, I am biased to skinny bitches. Why not? They are biased to me. Apparently, FAT is contagious!
I think about fat discrimination a lot. Why people still think it is acceptable. Why don't people teach their kids better. I do believe obesity is a disease, and I know most parents would slap their kids into next Sunday for making fun of other diseases. I'm sorry you had to put up with this. It's ignorance. One day, when I'm smaller, I will stand against it when I hear fat shaming.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you had to put up with that. And I'm sorry there are people out there that are shitty parents. It's really important to me to raise my kid to be polite, kind, compassionate, and knowing that people come in all different shapes, sizes, colors, backgrounds, all of it. And it's all okay. Next time, please say something to those little brats, just like you would to their parents. Maybe the embarassment of being confronted will keep them from doing it to someone else.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that you had to go though that. I have had that happen to me before...don't hold it against all kids. The last time I had a group of snotty children mock me my 6 year old jumped to my defense. "Don't mock my mommy...she is awesome and obviously your mommy sucks. She didn't teach you manners." She will defend anyone that is being mocked or made to feel bad. I wish you luck and while I know it might happen again I hope it doesn't!
ReplyDeleteMy kids aren't raised like this either. I'm so sorry you had such a horrible experience - and not just this one, but all the others. I've had times in my life I don't look fat, but I've struggled with body image issues and disordered eating most of my life, so I've always been sensitized to these kinds of comments, and tried to speak to them. People DO seem to listen to me more when I'm NOT overweight, which also makes me angry. Since I've been overweight, I feel like I get ignored by a lot of people, as if suddenly what I have to say about the topic of why it is wrong to say certain things/teach things a certain way/is highly damaging. Like we taught a "health unit" at the elementary school, and I had strong opinions about how it should/should not be done, in regards to the messages about food, weight, body, etc. A lot of disordered eating is created by the shaming that goes on through all kinds of subtle messages - there IS so much discrimination - it is like it is something that can allow some people to feel superior I guess, kind of like owning a better car (if they are the kind of person who needs to feel superior). It is easy to want to give up and hide because it hurts so much, but the person being the idiot/saying those things, is the one who should be ashamed - it is extremely hard in that moment, but you know that YOU are not the one who has something to be ashamed of. The more you can stand up for that - like I wish you could have TOLD your co-workers, maybe then THEY would have talked to the kids. I don't know. I just think sometimes when we speak out that feeling of shame, it helps kill it. I love for instance that you spoke up to the lady in the car. I know we don't want to have to "fight" people, that isn't good....but it really is a fight against prejudice like any other, and it is really brave to speak up with as much grace as possible against it, imo. Or if you don't want to deal with all the idiots who won't change at least don't lose hope there ARE skinny bitches ;-) and kids who are also good people too, we just have to find the quality people - the idiots are usually really easy to spot. ;-D
ReplyDeleteOh honey reading this made me tear up. I am so sorry you experienced this. Kids can be the meanest thing. I would beat my kids if they ever did something like this. You are beautiful. remember that!
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