Seriously, I have a problem.
This is what happened at lunch today. Thank you coworker for your lovely gift that I COULD NOT SAY NO TO!
I did all my calorie calculations and I came up with this as my lunch totals. I did not eat the bread, because, funny story (or not so funny story), I ate a bite and immediately got stuck, began to slime, and eventually had a PB episode. This is only like the fourth time this has happened--and this was by far the WORST one.
I had (all estimates from google--so not sure of how accurate)
approximately 2 small meatballs (1.4oz) about 90cal
Nutella filling --about 2TBSP--200 cal
equivalent of 1 slice rustic italian bread--100cal
1.5 oz italian deli meat (from sandwich)--75cal
salad with fat free dressing--45cal (veggies free)
I am so disappointed in myself. I am ashamed. I tracked down my accountability buddy and confessed my sins. She told me that she had two mango margaritas and some s'mores last night, and not to beat myself up over a bad day. And that I still had plenty of calories to get through the rest of the day without going over.
I know I still have calories left--it's not the point. The point is that I have yummy Unjury chicken protien dip and fresh veggies and 2oz of grilled chicken in the fridge that was SUPOSSED to be my healthy super awesome lunch.
I read on 700 pounds is as bad as it sounds, this is totally me: "But you know how it is for us food addicts. When the food is right in front of you and you are hungry it becomes hard to dial it back."
I wish I could go back to 11:30 and have a redo for the day. Just not even eat any of it, and just go on with my life. Sigh.
Does it get any easier?
I can't say for certain...but I used to have that problem when I first has my band. It wasn't until a bout 8 weeks ago that I had an "ah ha!" moment and realized that A) If it didn't taste as absolutely wonderful and orgasmic as I wanted it to I spit it back out and threw it away. (I have no issues using a napkin even at a restaurant) and B)That after enough times of A that I didn't even want it.
ReplyDeleteDon't beat yourself up...it is a learning process with a huge learning curve...You can do it!
I wouldn't beat myself up over it either! Who doesn't want to participate in a social office lunch? You didn't do that bad calorie-wise either. I'll bet that before the band you would have done worse. I know I would have! It'll get easier when you have more restriction. When you get used to becoming full on less food, it's easier to be more selective about your choices.
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